


i'm going to regret this

by sapnaplovebot



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Caring Josh Dun, Depressed Tyler Joseph, Drinking to Cope, Fiction, Gay, Josh Dun & Tyler Joseph Friendship, M/M, Past Drug Use, Psychological Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapnaplovebot/pseuds/sapnaplovebot
Summary: Josh and Tyler meet each other by fate, but when Josh accidentally learns about Tyler's life in the shadows, their entire world fights the tumble downwards.originally posted on wattpad under user blooddun
Relationships: Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph
Comments: 8
Kudos: 4





	1. introduction

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone, this is my first book on here asf! i decided to reupload some stuff from wattpad onto here, so that's all this is. 
> 
> my wattpad is @blooddun if anyone is curious in my other works.

JOSHUA DUN was a simple man. He was healthy, 26–year-old male, who liked to live in small spaces with himself and himself only. He wouldn't consider himself as a head-turner, and nobody else did. He was just a normal guy that his neighbors would pass by and wave a happy hello to.

He was used to living alone, and he liked it. He wouldn't even mind if he lived alone his entire life. Friends would always come and go, and love was one of the last things on his mind, even though he did ponder it sometimes when he couldn't sleep over a cup of tea at three in the morning.

With a stable life and a stable job, he decided that he was happy with himself and who he was. He liked being a nobody, and he liked his apartment, and his life in all.

This didn't change on the morning of Saturday, July 7th, when he started jogging through his neighborhood, like every other start to his day. With his music playing through his earbuds, he pounded down the sidewalk, his thoughts pouring into his head carelessly. 

With nothing to really do the rest of the day, he might take a trip to the gym, and he started to plan the dinner to make for himself. Maybe he could get the extra work done that his boss requested.

Josh smiled to himself. Today would be another productive day.

As he came to the end of the block, he took a second to stop and consider a decision. Since he had so much time today, he could take the longer route, which was seldom used, since he didn't usually have off work on Saturday.

It never hurt to get a little more exercise, he chuckled to himself. Why not?

He turned left instead of right, his heart pounding again.

This part of the neighborhood wasn't unfamiliar to him, he just never went this way, so he kept his head up and looked around, memorizing house numbers and road names.

Along with the new sights, he also picked up a scent that, frankly, smelled very good; it was almost flowery, but about fifteen different flowers at once. He wanted to know where it came from, and since he was still stuck on his exercise motto, he couldn't help but to follow the pretty smell.

The sun shone brightly, glinting off windows and water droplets from sprinklers as he turned the street, almost stopping in his tracks when he saw where the scent was coming from.

At the end of the short street was a small home, way smaller than most of the houses he'd seen, and the entrance was a trellis that was covered with flowers, winding up and down beautifully. The front yard was almost an entire flower garden, aside from a path that lead down the middle and to the front door.

Josh thought he must be dreaming. This was a thing that was only in a fairytale and children's movies. He tugged out his earbuds and slowed down.

Something else that made him almost stop completely was the man, dancing to no apparent music in a tank top and boxers, reading a book, in the middle of the road.


	2. one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler and Josh make a friend.

JOSH WATCHED the man dance in the street, his chest heaving.

He had no shoes, and his tank top was flowing with him in the sweet summer breeze. The book he was holding didn't seem thick, and he was surprised that he was managing to read it with all the shimmying this guy was doing.

He didn't want to interrupt him, but he desperately wanted to know who this man was, and, shocking Josh as a whole, he wanted to know his entire story.

So, like a psychopath, he started to jog towards him, his earbuds still in hand.

Surprisingly, the man noticed, and he looked up to see a very interesting man jogging along the sidewalk, staring at him intently. 

From the perspective of the man, he could pick out three things about Josh:

One- He was fit. He definitely hung out at the gym, no doubt about it, and this jog was probably one of many. His shirt clung to his sweaty torso, which would usually be gross, in his opinion, but it fit this guy very nicely.

Two- He was good looking. Even though his nose was a bit unique, his curls were the perfect shade of brown, and his eyes shown in the sun, even from the distance they were away from each other. His body only helped, making him a good 8.7/10 on the attractive scale.

Three- He was curious, like a good bit of the people who saw him for the first time on a Saturday in the spring, summer, and early fall- dancing his heart out while reading a book, his flowers accompanying him.

He decided to introduce himself, even though he probably already looked clinically insane to this poor man out for a jog.

So, as Josh jogged up to him, slowing down and then stopping, he waved, smiling genuinely. 

"I promise I'm not insane," he called as Josh waved back hesitantly. "It's my way to get hyped up for Saturday."

"..why do you get hyped up for Saturday?" Josh asked, now extremely curious about this odd man he stumbled upon.

"Because it's the most boring day in the fuckin' world," the man said, smoothly, like he had said it a thousand times before, which he had. He held out his hand, dirt crusted underneath his fingernails. "My name's Tyler Joseph, and I can confidently say that I'm the most interesting person you'll ever cross paths with."

Josh shook his hand. "Joshua Dun, but call me Josh. It's nice to meet you, Tyler Joseph, the most interesting man I'll ever cross paths with." He chuckled softly, and Tyler let go of his hand.

"Uh.. are these flowers yours?" he asked, pointing to the trellis and the house. "I was jogging and the smell hit me and... I just couldn't help myself but come down here."

"They're mine, alright," Tyler beamed proudly. "Being a dropout of horticultural sciences can be fun, especially when you buy the textbooks and realize that you're wasting your life."

"They're beautiful, really," Josh said, still in awe. "Looks like it's out of a storybook."

"Josh, my entire life is straight out of storybook," Tyler coughed. "Every last bit. So I decided, why not look the part? And at 23, I have my own beautiful home with my beautiful flower friends. Sure, I might sleep on a couch and live off ramen, but it's all about the vibe, y'know?"

Josh looked over to him, silent, as he took in the words he just said, processing them.

"Your last sentence makes my head spin, but sure, it's about the vibe," he finally chuckled. "Like... groovy, baby..?"

"Shagadelic!" Tyler whooped. 

Josh snorted, covering his mouth with the back of his open hand. "Do you get many compliments on your flowers?"

Tyler giggled to himself, nodding. "Yeah, I do, actually. Anyone and everyone in this neighborhood has probably come back here to talk about 'em, just like you. And still, I have no friends! Isn't that a shame?" He smiled sadly to Josh. "I'm pretty sure they think I'm kooky, which, I mean, I am, but like... way off the charts."

Josh frowned slightly. "You don't have any friends, even with this beautiful home?"

Tyler shook his head, still smiling sweetly. "None, 'cept my flowers, duh, and a salamander that creeps around sometimes." 

He looked down to his feet, which were not burning on the pavement just yet, but he knew they were probably going to soon. Josh frowned a little deeper.

"Do you want a friend, Tyler?" Josh asked softly.

He shrugged in response. "Friends always come and go, y'know? I get too comfortable and then whoops!-" he giggled, "-they all leave me. But if you wanna be my friend, then you can be my friend!"

Josh decided that this dude was pretty cool, even if he seemed a little crazy. And he probably needed some friends, since he didn't seem completely okay.

"Do you want to be my friend?" Tyler asked softly.

Josh nodded. "Yeah, I'd love to have a friend right now. I think we both need one."

Tyler grinned the widest, brightest smile Josh had ever seen.

And that's how on Saturday, July 7th, the two boys found a new friend, one with a normal, boring life, and the other living in a total fantasy.

They might have seemed like opposites, but their lives attracted each other. Both of them were happy with themselves, with how they were living, but maybe, just maybe, they could have a little bit of something else, too- just a splash of something different to make them seem interesting.

Josh said goodbye, giving Tyler a friendly wave. Tyler waved back, his heart bursting with excitement as he started to dance again. He had a friend!

His newfound friend jogged home and thought about him the entire way, and about his flowers, and his dancing to get hyped up for the most boring day in the world.

Josh decided that Saturday's were usually pretty boring, and that Tyler was right.

It was another normal day in both of their lives, highlighted only because they now had a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you're enjoying this so far idk what to put in notes


	3. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler takes on his job, while Josh feels down and lonely.

TYLER FLOPPED down on his couch, pulling his laptop onto his lap and turning it on.

His head hurt, and he bit his lip as he thought about the guy he met earlier today. Josh. His friend.

His friend! Holy shit!

He knew he should be more excited, but he couldn't help but dread the future. He knew he couldn't get too close, and he knew what would happen if he did.

The computer in his lap chimed, and he looked down to his email, groaning when he saw the email.

"Another one? Really?" he scoffed to no one, opening the email and reading over it. Another task for his so-called job needed to be done, which was fun, he'd admit. But, as all things, it got old and soggy after awhile.

He giggled at his thoughts. Old and soggy. Gross.

After setting his computer to the side, he got up and put on a pair of jeans, humming softly to himself before picking up a shovel and heading out his side door, into his garden.

A flower was chosen from said garden, and he picked it, muttering an apology to the poor plant. He felt horrible whenever he had to pick a flower for this reason, but it was all for the best.

He put it in a pot and then carried it to his car, a small thing that he rarely used. The shovel came too, and he was driving down the road a minute later.

Once he reached his destination, he took both the flower and the shovel to the back door, knocking twice.

A man answered, and looked at Tyler questionably. "Who are you?" he asked, putting a hand on his hip.

"Just coming to plant a flower, sir, like you ordered?" Tyler said, putting on his customer service face that he used in these situations.

"...no, I didn't," he said, growing more confused by the second.

"Oops, wrong job," Tyler giggled, quickly grabbing the shovel and raising it.

"What the—?!"

~

Josh had finished his work, had gone to the gym for an hour or two, and finished his dinner, leaving him lonely and bored. He didn't like to watch movies that much without anyone next to him, or even television shows. 

He was a very bland man when he was alone.

That lead him to go back to his room and read a book until he fell asleep. It was only eight o'clock, and he wasn't a psychopath who went to bed that early. Sure, he could, but he had nothing to do tomorrow. 

He walked slowly back to his room, looking at his pictures in his apartment of his family. Maybe he would call one of his siblings up. See how they're doing.

The thought overrode the idea to read a book, and he grabbed his phone, finding the contract for his brother. His phone rang four times before he picked up.

"Josh?" the familiar voice asked, and Josh couldn't help but smile softly.

"Hey, Jordan," he sighed. "I was just thinking about you., and I wanted to know how you were doing."

"Uh.. I'm really, super busy right now, man," Jordan replied, making Josh's smile drop as he continued to listen. "Can I call you later?"

Covering up his disappointment, he nodded. "Yeah! Yeah, that- that's fine."

He heard Jordan's smile in his words. "Okay, okay. That's good. I'm really sorry, but I'll get back to you, how about that?"

"Yup, mhm. That sounds fine."

"Alright. Talk to you later."

"Bye."

Jordan hung up, and Josh decided to just go to bed. His sisters lived in different timezones, and he didn't want to wake them, and his parents probably didn't care about his semi-successful life anyway.

He got into his pajamas, throwing his covers over himself and shoving his face into his pillow, forcing himself to fall asleep. Tomorrow held nothing but another plain normal day for him, and it was fine. He just wished that one person cared, just one.

He fell asleep to the thought of a possibility of his new friend caring, and he smiled as he drifted off.


	4. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh and Tyler hang out for the night. Trigger warning for alchohol use.

JOSH JOGGED up to Tyler's house the next Saturday, early in the morning. Tyler was still there, dancing away, a new book in his hands.

As soon as he saw Josh, he grinned. "Hi!!"

"Hello, Tyler," Josh chuckled, coming up to him. "How's your week been?" 

"Fan-fucking-tastic," Tyler said immediately. It scared Josh sometimes when he said things so quickly like that, without thought. "You?"

Josh thought over his week, and how Jordan never called back, and his tiring work, and his boring nights.

"Could be better," he decided on. "I have work in an hour, and that's never fun."

"You work on Saturday?" Tyler scoffed, putting a hand on his hip. "Boring. Unfun." 

Josh bit his lip. "I get that a lot, unsurprisingly."

"Alright, Mr. Work," Tyler chuckled. "Uh... do you wanna hang out sometime? If we're gonna be friends, we should get to know each other better."

Josh felt a weight lift off his chest. Maybe now he wouldn't be so bored all the time, or at least for an evening. 

"Yeah, I would love that, actually," he answered him. "I really need that right now."

Tyler let his eyes drift over Josh's body. The latter knew his brain was hard at work if he was silent for this long, and it almost felt like he was sizing him up for whatever he had in mind.

"What are you thinking we should do?" he finally asked, breaking the silence.

Tyler looked up to him. "Ever had a facemask?"

~

Josh sat down on Tyler's couch that night, in his requested pajamas, trying to ignore the slimy feeling of the facemask on his face. Tyler giggled and plopped down next to him, a bowl of popcorn in his hands. 

"Wanna watch the Bundy tapes?"

Josh looked over at him curiously. "Are you into that kind of stuff?"

Tyler nodded furiously in response. "Love it. I find it so creepy, it's fantastic. So is that a yes?"

Josh shrugged. "Sure, man, whatever you think. I haven't watched it yet, so.. just another thing to check off, I guess."

Tyler beamed. "This'll be my fifth time watching it." 

Josh snorted, and Tyler put the popcorn between them, going into Netflix and starting the said documentary.

An hour later, the two sat, both entranced by the screen, their peeled off facemasks on the coffee table.

"...well," Josh said when it ended. "That was..."

"Informing!" Tyler suggested. "Very, very informative."

"You could say that," he laughed nervously. He then yawned, looking over to Tyler. "Any other requests for tonight?"

"Umm..." Tyler thought for a second. "Well.. Josh, let's get to know each other."

Josh looked at him questionably, but Tyler held out a finger as he cleared his throat.

"My name's Tyler Robert Joseph. I'm 23 years old, my birthday is December 1st, and, um... I'm a guy who plants flowers in other people's backyards. And my favorite color is yellow."

Josh nodded. "Alright, Tyler Robert Joseph, my name's Joshua William Dun. I'm 26, my birthday is June 18th, and I'm a design technician, so.. I draw for a living."

"Interesting. Favorite color?"

"Navy blue," Josh decided on. "Anything else I should know?"

"I read a lot," Tyler shrugged. "Poetry, a lot. Sometimes horror and mystery, though. A book that grips you in fear is always a good one."

"You like scary stuff, huh?" Josh queried, becoming more and more interested in this new friend of his.

Tyler grinned a murderous smile at Josh. "Obsessed, would be a better word."

Even if he was a bit crazy Josh thought, he was still cool. He needed some spice in his life, and he believed Tyler was the perfect fit.

"Do you drink?" Tyler asked, looking up into Josh's eyes. "Like... alcohol?"

"Yeah, why?" 

Tyler was already up off his feet. "Lemme get you a drink!" he yelled, running to the kitchen in a mad fit of giggles.

Josh winced. "You don't gotta do that, man."

"Yeah I do!"

There was a clinking of bottles, and Tyler soon came back with two bottles of alcohol in his hands. He tossed one to Josh, and then opened his side table drawer, pushing things aside carefully before finding a bottle opener. He held it up in victory to Josh, who smiled widely.

"Now we can drink and tell each other our secrets," Tyler murmured, giggling at the thought as he popped the cap off his beer, setting it on the coffee table and handing the opener to Josh.

"I'm honestly a pretty open book," Josh shrugged. "I would love to hear about this fairytale lifestyle you have, though."

Tyler took a sip of his beer, his eyes already fiery. "You remember me telling you that?" he asked curiously, letting the drink make his voice raspy as it burned down his throat.

Josh nodded, taking a casual sip. "Oh yeah, I remember. I mean, no offense, you seem like a very... secretive guy."

Tyler sat criss-cross on the couch, humming. "I guess you could say that. There's some things I can't trust people with. Chatterboxes, y'know?" he laughed lightly, taking another sip. "Sometimes takes a lot of effort to get things out in the air, but... I feel like I can trust you."

His friend grinned at that. "You think so? I'm just a random dude you met, who happened to be jogging."

"Yeah, yeah, but you're my friend now! And friends should know things about friends!"

Josh bit his lip. "True, I guess."

Tyler smiled mischievously at him. "So... what do you have to hide, Joshua Dun?"


	5. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh reveals part of his personal life to Tyler. Trigger warning for alcohol use.

JOSH LOOKED down to his beer.

"Well... I had this girlfriend this one time, and I broke up with her because I-" he held up air quotes, "-'couldn't deal with having a girlfriend at the moment,' but I actually cheated on her and I couldn't break it to her because I'm lame," he admitted, the shame evident on his face.

Tyler looked to him with wide eyes. "You cheated on your girlfriend and never told her?" he asked, laughing when he nodded.

"Man, if anyone cheated on me, and I found out, I could just- I could kill 'em!" he chuckled. "Who was the chick?"

"The girl or who I cheated with?"

"Cheated, duh," Tyler answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, which to him, it was.

"Uh... a coworker," Josh finally said. "Too damn irresistible in the office, y'know?" he chuckled, trying to make a joke.

"What was she like?"

Josh bit his lip. "Brown curls, gorgeous lips, and a flaming personality. Always a risk taker."

Tyler took a sip of his bottle. "Very interesting. What was the sex like?"

"It, uh..." Josh said nervously. "It was nice, I guess."

"Only nice?"

"You want to know about my sex life."

"...fair."

Josh took a sip from his beer, settling down into the couch. Tyler laid down, setting his head on Josh's leg and looking up to him.

"What was her name?" he asked softly.

"Jayden," Josh replied hesitantly.

"She sounds pretty."

"He is pretty."

Tyler shot up. "Oh, you- oh... so you mean, it- it was a guy? Jayden's a guy?"

Josh snorted. "Yes, and I hate admitting that."

Tyler quickly shook his head. "No! Don't be- don't— i-it's okay, Josh. Your secret is safe with me, I promise."

"...you're sure? Absolutely promise that?" Josh asked, the worry coming off his face bit by bit. "Please don't tell anyone, and I mean anyone."

"I'm absolutely positive," Tyler smiled. "I'll take it to the grave, I promise."

He watched Josh smile gently. "So.. you don't care?"

"Of course not!"

Josh blushed softly. "..oh," he chuckled, setting his beer down. "That's good."

"Okay, um... this sounds random, but I love dancing, as you probably already know, but.. can we dance?" Tyler asked quickly. "Like... I just wanna dance with someone."

Without another word, Josh hopped up. "Got any songs, or are we gonna gonna dance to nothing?"

"I have songs, silly goose!" Tyler giggled, running over to his phone. He clicked a few things, and a song started playing through his speakers.

"Okay, don't judge," he said, the song playing behind his voice. "But slow dancing on a Saturday is a whole vibe, so.. will you share this dance with me?" Tyler asked, holding out his hand.

The song started to kick in, and Josh looked to him with his deep coffee eyes, the alcohol consumption starting to show, and nodded with a smile, taking him in close to his body and swaying to the beat of the song. Tyler giggled softly, moving with Josh, wrapping his arms around the man.

He was dancing with his friend in their pajamas, starting the journey to getting tipsy, as they listened to the jazzy, resigned tune that was one of his favorites. He could hear Josh's heartbeat when he leaned his head against his chest, and he let his eyes close.

This was comfortable, and he enjoyed it a lot. His fairytale lifestyle was sometimes too much for him to deal with, and it was really nice to just unwind like this. 

"Thank you, Josh," he mumbled, looking up to him with sparkles in his eyes. "I really appreciate it, a lot."

Josh smiled down at him. "Believe me, it's nothing. I promise. Dancing is really fun, I think."

Tyler giggled. "It's totally fun! You're so right." 

They were quiet again as they kept swaying, Tyler humming deeply along as his eyes fluttered close again.

As Josh listened, he thought it was one of the most incredible sounds he had heard from a human ever in his life. He let his eyes close as well, dancing in the same, lazy circle that they had been.

"Thank you for being my friend, Joshie," Tyler grinned, his eyes still shut as he murmured the words.

"Joshie?" Josh asked, unfamiliar with any nickname, really. It had been a long time since anyone called him anything other than Josh, but he didn't really mind. 

"Mhm. I'm gonna call you Joshie, if that's okay."

"You go right ahead."

Tyler blushed happily, stopping their dance to hug Josh deeply.

Josh hugged him back, and they stayed there until the end of the song.


	6. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler and Josh exchange numbers.

JOSH HAD gotten off on a random Tuesday, and he was bored. There was nothing to do on a Tuesday, really, besides the same stuff he did on Sunday and the Saturday's where he didn't work.

So, he took a jog to the familiar house at the end of the neighborhood, almost a bit excited to see if Tyler was there. But he didn't get his hopes up.

There was music coming from the house that could be heard slightly, and he smiled, slowing down and walking up to the wooden fence, knocking on the frame.

A hat popped up, a straw sun hat, and then a bunch of brown hair and smiles, and then Tyler came running to him.

"Josh!" he said excitedly. "Hi!!"

The mentioned grinned, picking off his hat and putting it on his head, laughing at Tyler's pout.

"Man, I'm just trying to plant flowers," he huffed, standing on his tiptoes to try and get his hat. "Maybe I shouldn't be so excited to see you."

"Oh, don't say that," Josh scoffed, taking off the hat and putting it back on him. "I was just trying to be fun."

"Whatever, doofus. Come in," Tyler said, rolling his eyes with a noticeable smile as he unlocked the gate and let Josh in.

Josh let himself imagine he was in a fairy garden, just life-size, as Tyler let him sit down next to him under a tree with a tire swing, the ropes holding up the beaten tire covered in vines with pretty flowers, almost so pretty and delicate that you'd never want to touch the swing at all.

Tyler giggled, leaning against the tree and running his fingers through the soft, cool grass, the dirt on his hands coming off gradually.

"Joshie, do you like my garden?" he asked, looking over it as a bumblebee came up and landed on the swing.

"Yeah! I love it!" Josh exclaimed, moving further away from the friendly bee, who was frankly just vibing. "I wish I could live right here, in the garden. That would be cool."

"That's a concept," Tyler murmured. "Kinda silly, but it could always work."

"I could live in a treehouse," Josh suggested. "That would be sick."

Tyler grinned. "That would be sick, wouldn't it?"

"Of course!"

They both laughed, and the song switched to something old and jazzy. Josh could start to understand that Tyler liked jazz, and that was added to a growing list of why he liked him.

"Do you want something to drink?" Tyler offered. "Lemonade, water... milk? I dunno," he laughed. "I just got drinks if you'd like them."

Josh chuckled along with him, looking up to the branches of the tree they were under. 

"Could I have some water?" he asked him, looking over and meeting his eyes. Tyler blushed and nodded, getting up. 

"Sure, that's something I can do."

~

Josh jogged back home, feeling excited to lay on his couch all day, honestly. 

He had gotten Tyler's number, so he could finally talk to someone, instead of being lonely all the time. It was more than thrilling to think that he could finally have a conversation with someone without them wanting to leave or being too tired or too busy or too anything.

Once he got home, he took a shower, changing into some sweats before checking his phone. There was a text from an unknown number, and he could only guess who it was.

***-***-****: hey loser 👀👀

He snorted at the text, filling in the contact name before answering him.

josh: hey yourself. aren't you supposed to be gardening or something?

As he made his way back to the kitchen, he heard his phone chime, and he opened the fridge, looking at the new text as he scanned for anything delectable.

tyler: stfu you know i'm too excited to text someone and Wow! you answered

He laughed, pulling out a Capri Sun and humming to himself as he walked to the living room, pulling up his sweats and typing his response.

josh: are you really? 

josh: cause i'm pretty sure i'm more excited than you. no offense, loser.

He watched as the typing bubble appeared, stabbing his drink as he did and sucking the juice from the straw. He turned on his TV, flipping through the channels when his phone pinged again.

tyler: first of all, you double texted in a triple text situation. a shame, really. and you called me a loser, which is a recycle of what i literally just called you, which is fuckin lame. i take offense to that, good sir, and i Also take offense to your claim to be more excited than me, which is a bold claim in itself. i jus fucjin. grr  
>:(( period luv ur lit rally insane 💅

tyler: no joke come over soon tho i miss human interaction

Josh cackled at his message, looking up and switching the channel before sending him an answer.

josh: no thot hed m t

He waited for an answer as he settled on an old movie he liked as a kid, curling up on his couch and taking occasional sips from his juice pouch.

tyler: dude i

tyler: but fr though i miss you kinda  
👉👈 i know you already came over but GASP WHAT IF I CAME OVER

tyler: IM NOT GONNA IF UOU DONY WANT NE TO BUT UHHHH OKEAE

tyler: wow i can't type.

josh: what did you just say i

tyler: i dunno LMAO

tyler: anyway

tyler: can i come over pretty please

josh: doesn't 👉👈 mean gay sex bro

josh: he's thinking more than he's letting on! abort mission!

tyler: nO SJSBSMSHJ NO I

tyler: JOSUA PLEASE I

tyler: SPARE ME

josh: so am i cooking for one or two, sir?

tyler: goddamnit josj whyre you so nice

tyler: 👉👈 two

Josh smiled down at his phone, grabbing his juice and moving to his kitchen.

josh: see you when you get here.

He sent his address and decided to focus on his cooking abilities for the next thirty minutes or so.


	7. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler is invited over to Josh's apartment for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate that i don't know how to work this website LMFAOO there's stuff that's supposed to be italicized and its driving me bonkers
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading :))

EVEN THOUGH Tyler knew that this was a casual event, he couldn't figure out what to wear, and it was stressing him out slightly.

As he was looking through his drawers, his phone pinged. Thinking that it was Josh, he looked over to it, only to be met by a new email, simply titled, "Be Careful".

Knowing exactly what the email was implying, he sighed, reciting the words out loud to himself.

"Choose your next steps carefully, Mr. Joseph," he muttered, going back to his drawers. "It could very easily be a life or death situation."

He had gotten that email so many times that it made him want to vomit. He didn't want Josh to be at risk for his... work, but he couldn't help but to have a relationship with him and be his friend.

He picked up a green button up, with big yellow leaves all over it. He decided on that and some black jeans, slipping them both on and running his hands through his hair.

Something was missing, he thought, looking over his outfit. It wasn't.. him. He needed his spunk in it, or something.

Minutes later, dawning a pair of sunglasses and his painted nails that he literally threw on, he grabbed a flower and a couple cans of Red Bull before moving going to his car and looking at his address again.

tyler: i'm on my way

joshie >:): see you soon!

Tyler smiled and started his vehicle, humming a tune to himself as he started the drive to Josh's house.

Josh, on the other hand, was still in his sweats, working on his chicken alfredo for their dinner. He was a bit nervous, because he hadn't cooked for anyone else in a long time. He was still a kinda new friend to Tyler, so he wasn't sure what he would think about his cooking. 

Whatever. His knew his cooking was good.

He was just about to finish up before he heard a knocking on his door, and he called a, "Come in!" 

The door opened, and Tyler appeared in the frame, grinning wildly at him.

"Joshie!" he exclaimed, setting down his Red Bull cans on the coffee table and running to the kitchen entrance. "I brought you a flower!"

Josh gave him a lopsided grin, turning off the oven and getting a mason jar from under the sink and filling it with water. Tyler put it in, looking up to Josh before they both laughed.

"Thank you," Josh told him. "It looks wonderful. And I really like that shirt!"

"I like yours, too," Tyler chuckled, gesturing to his bare chest.

"Oh, shut up. I'll put on a shirt soon. Our meal is..." he looked to the stove. "Ready, pretty much. I don't usually eat at a table, I apologize-"

"Don't apologize!" Tyler said quickly. "I don't even sleep in my bed half the time. I understand."

That made Josh smile, reaching up to find plates for them. "Go make yourself comfortable, how about that? I'll get the food to you, then put a shirt on."

"No, I wanna help," Tyler pouted, reaching out for a plate. "I want to be a good guest."

Josh rolled his eyes sarcastically, putting the alfredo on his plate and telling Tyler to say when.

"Stop," Tyler told him, but Josh didn't stop. "Josh, stop- when! When!"

Josh snorted, taking his current spoonful and putting it on his own plate until he was satisfied. 

"You know," Tyler said, taking his plate, along with Josh's. "I was a waiter in college."

"Really?" Josh asked, hiking up his sweats and smiling. "I bet that was a trip."

"Oh, it was horrible," Tyler laughed. "Go put a shirt on."

Josh stuck out his tongue, jogging to his room as a giggling Tyler took their plates to the living room.

He chose a old band shirt and some jeans to change into, and Tyler looked to the movie, not hesitating to start eating. 

"Holy shit, Josh," he called when he had finished his first taste. "This is phenomenal."

Josh laughed, pulling on his shirt and coming back out. "Everyone tells me I'm a good cook," he informed Tyler, sitting next to him. "I guess you think so, too?"

"Yes!" Tyler exclaimed, taking another bite.

"Glad to hear it," Josh chuckled, leaning back into the couch and picking up his own plate. By now, he had grown used to eating on the couch, and he was a pro at it. Tyler watched in shock as he somehow started to eat his food so easily without making a mess.

"How...?" he asked, shifting in his position- crisscrossed legs. Josh just shrugged, looking up to the TV.

"Did you know that this was one of my favorite childhood movies?" he asked. "Or.. the teenager part of my life?"

"Why would I know that?" Tyler asked, snorting as Josh threw him a look. "I was joking."

Josh continued looking at him like that for a few moments before sighing and going back to his dinner. Tyler watched the screen, trying to pick up plots and characters through conversation between the people.

"What's this movie called?" he finally asked, trying to distinguish it in his mind. 

"Oh, you've got to be joking," Josh said, looking over to him. "You don't know this movie?"

"No, I seriously don't!" Tyler exclaimed. "I have never seen this before, anywhere!"

"It's Fight Club, Tyler. Really? I expected more," Josh scoffed. "Honestly, dude.. my god."

Tyler sat, his fork mid-air, giving Josh the same look that he had given him only moments before.

"What?"

"Shut up before I stab you with this fork, Josh. There's no way this is Fight Club. This?"

"I take that offensively."

"As you should," Tyler said wisely, deciding to spare the man. For now.

"You're so mean!" Josh whined. 

"Says the one who is disappointed that I don't know Fight Club!"

"Because you don't know Fight Club!"

Tyler groaned loudly. "Jesus, save me."

"Eat your damn alfredo, Tyler," Josh mumbled.

~

Josh really didn't want to wake Tyler up, but he had to pee. Bad.

He had fallen asleep with his head in Josh's lap while beating him in Mario Cart, quite literally proving his point that he could, indeed, beat Josh in his sleep. Josh was winning, at this point, but he wasn't for the first five minutes that Tyler was asleep, which he found.. very odd. 

But after drinking the Red Bull that Tyler had brought, he was surprised that Tyler could even sleep. He himself was very awake, maybe because he'd never had one before and his body wasn't use to all the energy.

He still had to pee, really bad.

He pushed Tyler's head a bit, finding that he didn't even stir, so, cackling softly to himself, he pushed him off of his lap, pumping his fist as he ran to the bathroom.

Tyler woke up to the sound of water running, frowning to himself as he rubbed at his eyes, trying to remember where he was.

"Good morning," he mumbled, sitting up and recognizing his surroundings as Josh's living room.

Oh, shit! Josh's living room!

Oh, fuck, he was beating him in Mario Cart!

He yawned, stretching himself out a bit and laying back down, figuring that Josh had gone to bed, and someone in the apartment complex was up and using the water. Even though it was kind of rude, he couldn't get himself to leave Josh's couch, too tired for the task of getting himself out to his car and home without falling back asleep on the road.

It was very surprising to him when he saw Josh walk back out, looking awake and refreshed.

"Morning," he repeated, scaring Josh.

"Your voice can get that deep?" Josh asked, his eyes wide at Tyler's sleepy voice, the pitch very.. low, compared to what he was used to hearing.

"Oh-" Tyler chuckled, clearing his throat a few times. "Is this better?"

His voice was higher now, still scratchy, but much closer to his usual tone.

"Much better," Josh assured him. "You spending the night? I don't mind."

"Pretty please?"

"Sure. You can sleep in my bed," he offered. "Do you need anything to sleep in? I'm sure you don't want to crash in a button-up and jeans.."

"Oh, you don't have to-"

"Is that a yes?" Josh asked.

"...pretty please?"

Josh grinned, and Tyler could see the tiredness deep in his eyes, but the Red Bull was fueling him, he knew it.

"Let's go!" he said, pulling Tyler up. Tyler groaned, his legs a bit shaky.

After a few minutes, Tyler was in a pair of sweatshirts and a soft shirt, both from Josh, and Josh was getting changed in the bathroom into his pajamas. Tyler felt very content, laying on his bed in his clothes. The covers were soft and cold, making him even more tired than he already was.

"And.. I'm wearing the same exact thing I was wearing!" Josh chuckled when he revealed himself, only with gray sweatpants, socks, and a smile.

"Stunning," Tyler chuckled. "I like laying here, honestly. Feels nice."

Josh flopped next to him, sighing. "It does feel nice, wow."

"Don't you have work tomorrow?" Tyler asked him, feeling the fabric underneath him.

"I'll call in sick," Josh mumbled.

There was a moment of silence, and Josh looked to Tyler, and Tyler looked to Josh, their eyes meeting, and Tyler couldn't help but to stutter out, "Do.. do- I, um.. actually.."

"What?"

"Do you feel like you could wreck a car and party all night long and like.. smoke weed until seven in the morning, all while doing something crazy illegal right now?" Tyler asked.

"What? Of course I do, I drank like.. two cans of Red Bull."

"Oh, good. I'm glad we had the same experience."

Josh laughed, moving back to look at the ceiling fan.

"I think I'm going to fall asleep," Tyler mumbled. "Can you stay until I do?"

"I'll stay," Josh nodded. "It's okay, I'll stay."

Tyler smiled, looking back over to him. "Thanks, Joshie."

"You're welcome, Ty."

Tyler then fell asleep, and Josh did, too.


	8. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An outing to the park reveals the best in one's self.

"JOSHUA!" HIS neighbor called through the wall later that day, causing Josh and Tyler to look up. "Quiet down!"

"No!" Tyler shouted back, and Josh gasped, hitting his arm.

"What did you just say?" 

"Crap!" Josh said softly, jumping up and taking Tyler with him, starting to giggle. "C'mon, Ty!"

"Wh-what?" Tyler asked. "What are we doing?"

"What did you just say, Joshua?!"

"Nothing!" Josh yelled, shoving shoes on his feet, urging Tyler to stay quiet and do the same.

"I didn't hear nothing!" his neighbor said, and Josh pulled Tyler to the front door, fumbling for his keys.

"What are we doing?" Tyler asked, and Josh looked over to him with a grin on his face.

"Old Ms. Carolyn likes to lecture," he whispered, quietly opening the door. "I just usually leave for a bit until she shuts up."

Sure enough, Ms. Carolyn started yelling through the wall about the disrespectful youth and the such. Josh pulled Tyler out the door, going in the opposite direction of her apartment and helping him down the stairwell.

"Okay, well, where should we go?" Tyler asked, and Josh took him outside to his car.

Josh hummed, unlocking the car and letting Tyler get into the passenger seat, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. "Any suggestions?"

"Wait, yeah!" Tyler gasped. "I got an idea."

Ten minutes later, Josh and Tyler were getting back out of the car, giggling to each other as they ran into the park.

"We're crazy," Tyler cackled, running up to the monkey bars an jumping up to them. Josh watched as he easily swung from each bar, giggling as he felt Josh's eyes on him.

And yeah, Josh's eyes were on him, specifically his arms, his muscles on show, his perfectly tan skin making him pop out in the scenery. 

Josh didn't want to say he was drooling, but he didn't want to say he wasn't doing something of the sort. There was something that made him so attractive, even as a friend. He wondered why he didn't have a girlfriend, or.. significant other, if he was for that.

"Aren't we, Josh?" Tyler followed up with, after he hadn't replied.

"Wh- what? Oh, yeah, mhm," he said, snapping out of his trace.

Tyler giggled again, looking back to him with a stunning smile before swinging onto the platform and heading up into the main complex of the playset. Josh was close on his heels as he ran across the woodchips instead of going through the process of the monkey bars.

Tyler shrieked as he got stuck in one of the tunnels, yelling out, "Josh! Help!"

"You're the real weirdo," Josh muttered, coming up behind him and pushing him through the tunnel with all his might, both of them yelling out when Josh slipped off his support on his hand and when Tyler popped out. 

"Woah-" Josh said, catching himself before he could fall on Tyler, who was halfway out of the tunnel tube thing. He looked up to Josh, locking their eyes together before smiling.

"This seems seductive," he chuckled. "I would say take me to dinner first, but you've already done that, technically."

"Oh, shut up," Josh muttered, moving to the other side of the tunnel to hide his blush. Tyler just laughed, placing his hands on his stomach and sighing loudly.

Josh looked up to the sky, glad that it was a more chilly July day than most. He didn't like super hot days, or summer itself, really. Winter was more his vibe, with fires and cuddly, lazy days, and he liked to spend them with tea and a book, or a good movie. And sweaters.. nothing came between him and his favorite sweater.

"Josh?" Tyler said suddenly, looking up and over at him. 

Josh looked up. "What's up?"

"I think I like being friends with you."

A grin bloomed on Josh's face, and he laid his head back down, putting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes.

"I think I like being friends with you, too."

A drop of water landed on Josh's forehead, and he opened his eyes back up, looking to the sky as another drop fell onto his arm.

"Ty, I think it's raining," he said, and just like that, the clouds opened up, letting out everything they had, making Tyler gasp.

"Oh, shit!" he yelped, pulling himself back into the tube as Josh did the same, both of them rearranging so that they felt like scrunched up balls of playdoh or something, just for both of them to fit. The rain pounded on the thick plastic above them, but at least they were mostly dry.

"Hi," Tyler said, looking over to him. "Nice weather we're having, huh?"

Josh snorted, leaning his head back and listening to the rain. "Absolutely fantastic, if I do say so myself."

It took them a second, but then they were both laughing, their sounds carrying over the rain and echoing in the small tunnel they resided in.

When it had died down to just giggles, they looked over to each other, not lasting two seconds before laughing harder than before.

"Oh, we really are crazy, huh?" Tyler cackled, met by Josh's nod, his silent laughter bringing tears to Tyler's eyes.

Josh hadn't laughed this hard in a long, long time, and it felt really good to let it all out, especially with Tyler at his side. 

Maybe he liked having a friend. Even a nobody like him had friends, right? He was doing great, now with a stable relationship in his life, he was balancing everything out, and he didn't want anything to change. He thought this was perfect the way it was.


	9. eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler's job gets messy, and he pays for it. Trigger warning for slight gore and death.

IT WAS a pleasant Sunday afternoon when Tyler got the email that he was half due his count for work, which didn't make him fret too much. He still had plenty of time to fill it, but what did scare him was that he had to kill right away, as the email told him. The only reason this scared him was because, well... he was with Josh, and Josh still had no idea that he murdered people for a side job, not even a job, for fun, and that was how it should be. He almost felt like They knew that he was with Josh, which of course They did! They traced him all the fucking time, so why wouldn't They know he was with Josh?

Whatever. He had to get Josh to leave as soon as possible, call him back later, maybe. The only thing wrong with this was that he was horrible at making excuses for anything, and trying to tell your closest friend that you had to leave to kill someone? He'd rather kill Josh instead.

But! But, he was not going to kill his pal, his old chum, Joshie boy, no, Josh would live for today. He was going to make a lame excuse to get out of the situation, and then die of embarrassment or something, before he'd go actually kill a person.

After clearing his throat, he looked up to Josh. "Uh... I just got an email about a really.. really urgent family issue, and.. I think you might have to leave for a few hours."

Josh looked to him, clearly concerned. "O-oh, is everything... okay?" he asked. "Did anyone get hurt?"

"No, it's just- you need to leave," Tyler said flatly. "I'm really sorry, but... I need space for a little bit."

Josh nodded, getting up and turning off his phone. "Right, uh.. I'm sorry, if anything really bad happened, just text me if you need something. I'll be here for you," he murmured. Tyler just smiled sadly in response, giving him an unconfident thumbs up.

Holy fuck, Tyler thought to himself as he watched Josh leave with a comforting smile and wave, he actually believed me.

Now that he was gone, he desperately wanted him back, but he knew he needed to do this, or termination would begin, and he didn't need that to happen to him again, so he got up and changed into his stupid gardening killing clothes. He was honestly mad at himself that he got himself into this contract with this company, anyway. All They did was take and take from him, and what did he get?

Well.. he got unlimited protection from his killings, the dark web, the even darker webs, and the police, so.. he was kind of set to do any crimes he wanted. Of course, he wasn't one to trade body parts, but he could if he wanted to, which was kind of cool.

More tragically, he had to pick another flower for this dumb game. At least it would be over in a few more months. No more protected killings, but he was getting tired of it, anyway. Retire for a few years, relax with Josh as his friend, maybe pick up more friends, even a partner to love? Who knew what the future held.

He picked up his baseball bat with the nails out of the garden shed, feeling a bit frisky today with all the anger pent up in him about the damn contract. He could just rip his chip out, right? They wouldn't care. They're just in it for his deeds.

.. right?

He ran his finger over the slight bump on his upper arm, the feeling making him sick. He wanted it gone, he wanted this whole thing to be over.

After turning on his car and driving out to the opposite way of Josh's home, he let his anger continue to manifest into a big, black abyss. At this point, he didn't even care if he ripped a stranger apart, he needed revenge, and a lot of it. The whole concept of Them watching him was royally pissing him off, and he had to show Them just how They'd have to deal with him.

He stopped at the local coffee shop, forgetting all about the flower, or his original plan, and grabbed his baseball bat, holding it carefully as he walked into the busy shop. It wasn't long before he was noticed, but that's because he took action quickly, finding the bitchiest looking customer in the whole place before smashing his face with the baseball bat, his scream of pain echoing out, which chorused in other cries of agony and of terror. Tyler didn't care- the rage inside of him was too strong, and he pulled out and swung again, and again, until he heard the doors automatically lock and the people go silent.

They had taken over the system, he smirked, continuing to finish off the long-dead man underneath him, smiling when he could no longer recognize his face. The job had been done, and his rage was almost gone, all until he felt a rough hand on his shoulder, and then he groaned and fell to the ground, unconscious.

~

Tyler had never seen Them. He was always either wearing a mask, or They were, or he just.. didn't see Them. He usually just had a bag over his face as he heard them deal with him in low, gruff voices. Usually, people under contract didn't go out and kill in public. Now, They had to take everyone's memory that even saw a glimpse of him with a baseball bat and erase it, clean the site, and destroy any evidence. Of course, it was all usually Tyler's job to do that, but he couldn't just wipe people's minds, and he was now seen as dangerous, because he went out and randomly, gruesomely, killed a guy.

And guess who's fault it was?? Theirs! Haha!! They deserved it. Every last fucking bit.

He heard a chair squeak, and he looked over to that direction, even though he couldn't see anything but the burlap sack over his head.

"Joseph, Tyler. Twenty-three. Male," he heard. "Number one-oh-seven-three."

He gasped in pain when his chip made what seemed to be fire shoot up inside his arm. "Shit!" he yelled, bending his head forward, even though his hands were tied behind the chair.

"Are you aware that what you have done has violated the contract, number one-oh-seven-three?" the voice asked, almost robotically. Tyler nodded, looking up, trying to see through the sack.

"I am aware, yes," he muttered. "And I frankly don't care!"

Another pain, another cry out from his mouth let go into the air.

"This could result in termination of the contract and yourself," the voice said blankly. "Are you aware of this, number one-oh-seven-three?"

"Yes!" Tyler sighed. "I am very much aware. I get it, dude, it was wrong."

He heard the chair squeak again, and then footsteps from what sounded like heels, coming over and circling him. 

"We know what you were thinking," the voice said. "We know what you are thinking right now, number one-oh-seven-three, and we know what you want."

"Then let me fucking have it!" Tyler strained, trying to kick at the heels, only to find that his ankles were tied to the chair, too. 

"Are you sure you want to terminate the contract?" They asked, the walking ceasing in front of him. "It will result in your crimes being unveiled to the public."

Tyler paused. If his family found out about this, if Josh found out about what he had done...

"No," he said after a long time, his voice hoarse, yet soft. "No, I will not terminate the contract."

"What a good choice," the voice responded, and the hands were on his shoulders again. "Remember to have a wonderful day, and to keep quiet, number one-oh-seven-three. We're always watching."

He felt his body slump over, and then the cold, hard, metallic ground of the floor, and then nothing, again.


	10. nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh, worried sick, comes to check on Tyler. Trigger warning for alcohol use.

THERE WAS a loud knocking on Tyler's door, and he groggily looked up, his memory fuzzy and short-circuited. With a pounding headache, he got up, staggering to the door, not even noticing his pure white clothes, which were stained with a liquid of some sort.

"Hello?" he asked as he opened the door, the sunlight making him wince and lean back. 

"Tyler, oh my god," Josh said, pulling him into his arms quickly, hugging him tight. "Why didn't you answer my calls?"

Tyler felt like a piece of wood in his arms, not even hugging him back. "Calls?" he asked softly, and Josh frowned, pulling away and looking at him, his brown eyes soft with confusion.

"Tyler, it's.. I've been trying to call you since Monday night," he explained. "It's Wednesday."

Wednesday? 𝘞𝘦𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘥𝘢𝘺?

"I thought you... nevermind. I'm glad you're safe," he continued, and Tyler watched as his eyes flickered into his house, and he watched them change, his mouth quickly returning to a frown.

"Tyler, wh... what?" he asked, and Tyler turned to see his living room, his heart sinking to his stomach. He didn't even noticed when he woke up, but the floor was littered with wine bottles, and he could only guess what happened.

"I'm sorry," Tyler said quietly, barely above a whisper. He grabbed onto his hair, backing up as he started pulling on it slightly. "I'm sorry, Joshua."

"No, Ty-" Josh said quickly, coming into the house. "Tyler, please!"

Tyler shook his head, continuing to back up, looking behind him for his phone, any wine bottle that wasn't empty, anything to occupy him while he hid in his own shame and tears. Josh was still trying to follow him, concern all over his face, pleading for him to stop. He wanted him to stop, to just let him cry and try to remember what the hell he did after he went out and killed a person.

He grabbed the only wine bottle he was with something left in it and his phone, running into the bathroom and locking the door behind him. After that, he just looked at the bathtub, sighing softly before climbing into it and opening the bottle back up.

A minute passed, and then his phone buzzed. He turned it on, seeing all the notifications from Josh, a new one popping up.

Mon, 5:47PM

joshie >:) started a call.

joshie >:): everything okay?

joshie >:): remember, i'm here for you.

Mon, 10:25PM

joshie >:): night, ty

Tues, 6:16AM

joshie >:): i hope today's a better day!

Tues, 4:42PM

joshie >:): ty?? are you okay?

Tues, 7:31PM

joshie >:): tyler

joshie >:): tyler

joshie >:): tyler

joshie >:): tyler

joshie >:): tyler

joshie >:): tyler PLEASE

joshie >:) started a call.

joshie >:) started a call.

Tues, 11:49PM

joshie >:): goodnight, tyler. please tell me you're okay.

Wed, 2:38AM

joshie >:): i'm so scared, tyler.

joshie >:): where are you?

joshie >:): please answer me

Wed, 10:23AM

joshie >:): that's it i'm coming over

joshie >:): i can't deal with this anymore

Wed, 10:53AM

joshie >:): please stay safe, and please at least text me back. i'll be waiting outside the door.

He sighed, setting his phone down on the bottom of the tub and leaning back, taking a swig from the wine bottle before collecting his thoughts.

tyler: i can barely remember anything, i'm sorry. you don't have to stay.

joshie >:): well, i'm staying. come out when you can.

tyler: can you get me some orange juice please?

tyler: in the fridge, just grab a plastic cup.

joshie >:): ofc i'll be right back

He heard Josh get up, and he took another swig of his wine, thinking about the Tylenol in the cabinet. He knew it was dangerous, but his headache was so strong, and he wanted it to go away so bad... 

He liked chilling in the tub after blackouts from Them. He had never had Josh with him, or anyone, but it kind of helped him. Josh was getting him orange juice, so he wouldn't have to get up and stop vibing. The wine made his head foggy, and it was sometimes hard to walk. Another reason he liked the tub was because it was easy to clean, if he did vomit, which he was getting better at.

Drinking was fun. He could usually control himself, especially when he was with Josh, but after something with Them in control like that, they had ability to black everything out for a week, at least. That was the longest he had ever gone, and even though it had been years since that, his memories were still extremely foggy, and always had been as he slowly regained them.

Josh knocked on the door as Tyler was taking off his wine-stained shirt, saying, "I got your orange juice."

Tyler threw the shirt in the hamper, unlocking the bathroom door and opening it, meeting Josh's sad eyes before taking the orange juice. "Thank you," he mumbled, looking down at his feet before closing the door again.

Josh sat on the floor. "Wanna tell me about what a fairytale your life is, Ty?"

Tyler leaned his head against the door, not touching the orange juice until he was ready.

"Only if I can hear yours," he said softly. "I think we should know a bit more if we're going to be friends."


	11. ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh and Tyler share their life stories. Trigger warning for alcohol use, past drug references, and forced vomiting.

TYLER CLEARED his throat, looking down to his lap as he listened to Josh tap on the floor. He was still trying to get all of his story together to try and tell him, somehow. Of course, he'd leave the killing for another day, but there was more behind him that he should know.

"My dad was focused on too many little dreams to appreciate what he had," he finally said, trying to keep his voice up. "He left my mom after a while, saying that all we did was weigh him down. Of course, I naturally-" he scoffed, "-I never saw him again, but, I mean, who could blame him?"

Josh frowned at his words of choice, trying to soak up all the information he gave so he could piece it into a possible substitution to a classic tale about princesses and dragons and true love.

"So then my mom raised me, and she did it well, but she couldn't stop me from having bad ideas and doing weird shit, which lead me to, well," he muttered, looking to his wine bottle, "not good things. Not good things, definitely. And when I was eighteen, still having wonderful grades while partying and 'finding myself' or something through drugs, I got to college, where I dropped out after two years, because it wasn't going to sum up to anything. Nothing was worth it, man, nothing still is."

"Jesus," Josh mumbled, longing to see him. "Well, congrats for getting off drugs..?"

"Thanks," he heard Tyler say through the door, and then some shuffling. "Only took me many relapses and a lot of late nights, and professional shit." 

He laid a hand on his fist, frowning as he tried to think of something to say. His story didn't sound too bad, just bad decisions, like he had mentioned, but his wasn't nearly as interesting as Tyler's short blurb. He had just been a nobody his entire life, and he was still okay with that.

"Tyler?" he asked quietly, a thought he didn't want to ponder anymore ripping out of his chest and up his throat, standing on the tip of his tongue, causing fear to intoxicate his mind.

"Hmm?" he simply answered, and Josh sighed softly, barely breathing.

"Tyler, do.. do you have a drinking problem, maybe?" he asked him, fighting to keep his voice above a whisper, though it was hard for him to get the words out. He didn't think Tyler was an alcoholic, exactly, but the wine bottles and his clothes definitely triggered something in his mind that made him as curious as he was concerned. With all the trauma he had gone through, it would make sense, and he just wanted to know, to see if he needed help, or if emptying out his alcohol stash was a one time thing.

Tyler sighed, leaning his head forward. If he did have a drinking problem, he didn't want to admit it, but getting drunk after something bad was a great alternative to the drugs he used to take, still something to let him regret and forget for a bit. It would always lead to tub days, or sometimes happy prancing around in his garden, if he was lighter with the drink. He knew that drinking after a run-in with his boss wasn't healthy, but it wasn't something he could stop.

"I don't know," he decided on. "I don't want to think about it, honestly. Gets my head in a spin, makes me sicker than I already am."

Josh frowned again, nodding, even though Tyler wouldn't be able to see it. "Okay.. okay. That's okay. Something we can figure out when you're more sober."

"I am sober, Josh."

"Totally sober, Tyler. No alcohol in your body, kapeesh? Nada." 

"...fine."

Josh cleared his throat, feeling the carpet under his fingers. "Wanna hear my story now?"

"Of course," Tyler said, and Josh could hear him getting up.

"Well- well, I have a happy family. Sisters, brother, two happy parents. Nothing bad ever happened, just that none of my siblings ever have time for me, especially my brother. It really makes me sad sometimes, and that's why you being my friend has changed my nights, funnily enough," he said, and then he heard Tyler sit back down. "I have a normal job, with a normal life, just no one knows I had an affair with a guy. That's the only.. bad thing, I guess. My parents would freak, but then again, why would they care?"

Tyler watched as he swished the wine around in the bottle, Josh's story just making him more sad than the alcohol ever could. "I care, Josh," he told him, his voice tight. "I'm glad you're my friend, and frankly, I'm happy you're normal, because my life never could be."

That made Josh smile a bit, but then frown, and then made him all confused with his emotions. All he wanted to do was hug Tyler, and tell him it would end okay. Things would even out soon, and they could get everything in order together.

"And, Josh?" he heard Tyler add on. "Every story is important. Literally- even fucking, I dunno, the ant that lives in the kitchen, that story matters. Don't say your life is normal to pity me, or something. It's still a story. And your brother sounds like a total ass."

Josh smiled sadly, closing his eyes. The significance of Tyler telling him that his story and basically his life was important was huge, and he felt like someone simply telling him that was something that he thought would never happen, but here he was!

"Wanna know another thing about me?" Tyler giggled softly, the wine from earlier starting to fully kick in.

"What's another thing I should know about you, Ty?" Josh asked, his eyes still closed.

"Warm orange juice makes me extremely sick when I'm drunk," he said sweetly, and Josh's eyes shot open when he heard the plastic cup crackle in Tyler's hand.

"Oh, so you- you use it to make yourself p-puke?" he asked, puzzled, and there was a pause, and he guessed that Tyler was chugging the whole cup, which was gross in itself, but the eventual outcome made his skin crawl.

"Yup!" he heard Tyler say, and then he heard a gag, making him get up quickly, covering his ears with his hands and running to the furthest point away from the bathroom. Even though he was supposed to help Tyler, he couldn't stand anything about puking, at all. It grossed him out to the max, and he got nauseous from just hearing it. 

It was still there, since Tyler's house was so small, and he couldn't do anything about it, so he just pressed his hands harder to his ears, whispering positive words to himself to hopefully drown him out. Every cell in his body longed for him to stop, his whispers getting slightly louder, and he was starting to see stars from how hard his eyes were pressed closed.

Tyler, meanwhile, was just doing his thing. Even though he knew he could control his vomiting and just swallow it, he knew that he needed to get his shit out. The acidity in the orange juice helped this process greatly, as he could barely drink it cold without gagging. The only reason he had orange juice was for this occasion, and he found that very quirky and awesome.

All he really wanted was to get it all out, and then have Josh cuddle his sad, sick self, sick as in evil and gross. He honestly didn't know why he kept doing this over and over to himself, knowing that he'd still do the same thing and repeat the cycle. He'd gone so long without a reset like this, and it made him disappointed in himself. Why couldn't he just be normal with his killings? No, even better: why couldn't he be normal, period? Why did he have to be stuck in a toxic relationship with a company who repeatedly fucked him over? What was his problem?

After he was finished emptying his guts, he looked in disgust at the toilet under him, flushing it before climbing weakly up to the sink and washing his face, brushing his teeth, too. He was still his disgraceful self with or without his happiness, as his tired eyes and sunken frame showed. He just frowned at himself in the mirror before opening the door back up, going to Josh and hugging him, closing his eyes as he felt Josh's strong arms take him in.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled softly.

"It's okay, I forgive you," Josh told him. "A thing you should know is that I have a thing with puking. Did you know that? I freak out about it."

"Jesus, I'm so sorry," Tyler said, shaking his head as his thoughts finally clicked back into reality, the first tears starting to slip out and stain Josh's shirt. "P-please, Josh, I just.. I'm sorry."

His friend brought him to the floor, letting him shamefully crawl into his lap and sob into his shirt as he rubbed his back gently.

Tyler remembered things, or started to, at least. He would never tell Josh what he started to remember, never tell anyone what plagued his mind and shouldn't have been in there in the first place, something that should have never happened. 

It was a mistake to drop out of college. If he knew anything, it was that much. And even if he does have a friend now, he knew his outcome. He knew what would happen if he didn't end this soon, and it made him sad. It made him more disappointed in himself, and he should have never signed the stupid contract.

"I'm so-orry," he sobbed, holding onto his shirt. 

Josh was quiet, keeping silent as he continued to rub his back, but inside, he was the one repeating his apologizes.


	12. eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler comes clean to Josh. Trigger warning for descriptions of sharp objects and blood, death, and alcohol use.

"I TOLD you, Joshie," Tyler said, hanging off of Josh's couch. "It's okay to be concerned about me, but you don't hafta be."

"Well, I am," Josh sighed, turning around. "How do I look?"

Tyler bit his lip, tracing his finger in the air as he looked at Josh, who was upside-down in his vision. "You look fine," he giggled, holding out the i. "So fine, Joshua."

Josh blushed, waving him off. "It's just a shirt and jeans, Tyler."

"Yeah, but your ass looks fine." 

"There's a reason why I really don't wanna take you to this party, and that's because I didn't know you'd already be tipsy," he sighed. "But a deal's a deal."

Tyler giggled quietly, giving him a thumbs up. "Thank you, Joshua."

Josh had been invited to a party, and even though it was a bad idea, he decided to go anyway, and told Tyler about it, which caught his interest. Josh told him he could come, not even thinking about anything unsafe at the party until the last minute, which was right now.

"Honestly, I wouldn't take you to this party because of all the things running through my head right now," Josh told him, pulling him up. "But, I'm scared that you're gonna go apeshit on me, so.."

"You bet I will," Tyler smiled, shaking up the blue Gatorade in his hand that Josh had given him. "Thank you for takin' me."

"Yeah.. yeah," he mumbled, finding his keys. "Let's go, hmm?"

Tyler nodded, holding onto his wrist as Josh lead him outside, locking the door behind him. Josh smiled down at him, leading him carefully down the stairs and to his car. 

Tyler giggled as he got into the car, looking over to Josh. "We're gonna have fun, Joshie!"

"You're already havin' fun over there," he mumbled, starting the car. "Buckle in, Ty."

"Okay!" he smiled, buckling himself in and smiling proudly. Josh just chuckled, pulling out of the parking lot.

~

"I feel like I'm in college again," Tyler giggled, leaning into him with the cup in his hand. "Like..." He cut himself off with laughter. 

"How many of those have you had, hon?" Josh asked, looking at his cup. "I think you might want to calm down."

"But it makes me feel s-so warm," he admitted. "So... so at home, Joshua!" 

"I don't think that's normal," Josh tsked, taking his cup. Tyler whined, pouting as he tried to grab it back. "You're pretty out of it, Ty. Let's not.. let's not push it."

Tyler huffed, crossing his arms and following Josh to the crowded kitchen as he poured it down the sink drain and put the cup under the tap, rinsing it out before giving him the water. 

"Try that instead, Tyler. Don't- don't give me that face. I can get you a soda, but no alcohol."

Tyler stuck out his tongue, storming away with his cup. Josh sighed, starting to follow him, but he stopped, knowing that he was probably getting mad at him, and it wasn't a good idea to get in the middle of him getting mad. 

So he just bit his lip and stood back, watching him leave into the crowd. 

And then he felt bad, and he frowned deeply, backing up to find a can of beer, cracking it open when he did. He should find Tyler, he told himself, as he took a sip, his eyes searching the heads that surrounded him, but he couldn't see anything or anybody that even looked familiar, making him bring the can closer to his lips.

He had work tomorrow, he couldn't, he told himself as he took a longer sip, forcing it away from his lips. He needed to find Tyler, and he needed to do it fast, before he got into trouble somehow. 

Setting the can down, he ventured into the bodies, finding it hard to fight through as he searched, and searched, and searched. Asked people, checked upstairs and downstairs, outside, everywhere he could possibly be, with no trace of the boy whatsoever. He cursed to himself, trying to understand why he even left him in the first place, which made him more frustrated with himself, going back to the kitchen and just telling himself to fuck it all and finish the damn can. So what, if he had work tomorrow? He'd be wasted, anyway. Calling in sick wasn't a problem.

So he emptied the can, tossing it into the trashcan before looking for Tyler again. There were only so many places he could be, he told himself. He was just missing him, or something.

Another half hour passed, and Josh had given up. He was supposed to be enjoying himself, not looking for his friend. It was just him being too protective, for no reason at all. He had to relax, kick his feet up, watch people drunkenly play the Wii. Maybe he'd join, maybe he wouldn't. It wasn't up to him to decide, just fate.

Just fate, he repeated to himself when he found himself with another can of beer, laughing at practically nothing and stumbling down to the basement to see if there was anything fun happening. Sadly, all that was there was a game of Twister and a few people conversing with others, so he took a left into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror.

Maybe this was why he was a disappointment, he thought, because he enjoyed himself sometimes. Just because he wasn't always a busy business man didn't mean that he wasn't successful. His parents were wrong.

After taking another sip of his beer, he sighed, looking over to the bathtub and gasping.

"Oh, holy s-shit," he slurred, dropping to his knees to see a smiling Tyler, who waved. 

"Hi, Joshua," he giggled. "B-bet you've wondered wh-where I've been."

Josh shrugged, sliding down and putting a hand over the bathtub wall, on Tyler's side. "Got kinda worried, but.. found you," he smiled, giggling stupidly.

Tyler smirked, picking up his can and swirling the liquid inside around. "Got more booze, 'm s-sorry," he apologized, even though his eyes told the truth.

Josh pouted. "Told you not to," he said, then biting his lip. "Kinda too late now, hmm?"

"K-kinda too late now," Tyler agreed. "Go, um.. go close th-the door."

"Go close th'door?" Josh asked, rolling over and kicking the door closed. "What's up?"

Tyler giggled, beckoning him back over to the bathtub, which Josh did, meeting his face and smiling. 

"U-um, you still look f-fine," he admitted, hiding his face. Josh pursed his lips, humming as he ran his hands over his simple shirt.

"Y'think?" he asked, looking down at himself. "I dunno.."

"Shoul' I p-prove it?" Tyler slurred, sitting up in the tub. "I can!" 

"Dare you," Josh snickered, and Tyler scooted over in the tub, patting the bottom. Josh climbed in, smiling as Tyler closed the curtain. 

"O-okay, um," Tyler said, looking into his eyes for a bit before searching his body. "Um, you.. you're really fine, um.."

Josh blushed, hiding his face. "Mm-mm!"

"Yes!" Tyler huffed, removing his hands. "Yes, J." 

Josh playfully stuck out his tongue, and Tyler giggled again, doing the same. They both burst out into laughter, and Josh blushed, looking into Tyler's eyes again as he leaned on the side of the tub.

After a while, Tyler did the same, just looking into Josh's eyes, until he cocked his head, looking down to Josh's lips. He wondered how they'd taste, how they'd feel.

He touched his own lips, humming as he looked back into his eyes. Josh got his message, and chuckled quietly.

"Yo.. are we about to kiss right now?" he whispered, leaning in a bit.

Tyler smiled, taking that as the green light and leaning in, cupping his jaw as he kissed him. He could swear his heart stopped for a second when Josh put his hands on his hips, struggling to keep his breathing steady. It felt good, really good. 

When they pulled away, Tyler looked at him, biting his lip.

"Goddamn, Tyler," Josh muttered, "am I gonna regret this later."

He leaned in yet again, connecting their lips quickly, and Tyler whimpered, not expecting it, but quickly regaining his cool as he crawled on top of Josh, his eyes still closed as he kissed him harder, deeper. Josh was addicting, more than any drug he'd ever tried, and he saw that Josh was right with kissing him a second time- just once wasn't nearly enough.

Josh almost didn't know what was happening. It was all a bit hazy, but his gut told him that this was awesome. His totally cool, awesome, attractive best friend was making out with him!

How cliche was that?!

"Fuck," Tyler muttered, letting Josh grab onto his hips again. This wasn't enough to fill the hole in his heart- he needed more, more of Josh, and then some, maybe. A plan started to form in his mind, and he smiled against his lips.

Of course, everything came to a crashing halt when someone entered the bathroom, and Tyler gasped, jumping off Josh and scooting to the other side of the tub.

"Oh- fuck, someone's in here!" the voice exclaimed. "Oh, I'm- I'm sorry, I- oh my god," it apologized quickly, and Tyler looked out from the curtain, seeing a young boy who looked a little too young staring at him, continuing to apologize in a frail voice before leaving the room, leaving the door open.

Josh tsked, feeling his lips. "I guess that's the end of that," he mumbled, looking down to his lap. 

"It was real.. really nice, Joshie," Tyler told him, blushing deeply. "M-maybe we could do it again sometime."

"You think?" 

"Yeah!"

Josh blushed along with him, and Tyler sighed, collapsing onto his chest. "Let's.. let's p-play two truths one l-lie," he suggested. "I'll go f-first.".

"Okay.." Josh giggled, rubbing his back.

"Ummm... okay, s-so.. I liked k-kissing you, um... I look g-great in green nail p-polish, and I... oh! I murder people," he giggled, looking up to Josh.

Josh laughed. "You think you don't look good in green nail polish? I think you do, but.."

"Ding-a-ling!" Tyler snorted, laughing loudly into his chest. "You got it! C-congrats!"

The two started laughing really hard, Josh obviously thinking that Tyler murdering people was a joke, so he played along with it. Then again, they were drunker than drunk, so they wouldn't have taken it seriously anyway.

"We-ell," he started. "If you do murder people, would... would 'ya murder me?" 

Tyler shrugged. "P-pro'ably wouldn't w-want to.. but maybe. I'd tr-try."

Josh gasped. "No way! That's so not a bro move!" 

That made Tyler cackle into his chest, sighing as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "Oh, this is real great," he giggled quietly. "W-wanna know ho-how I'd do it?"

Josh nodded eagerly. "Oh, please tell me! I'd love to know my demise!"

Tyler smiled up at him. "A nice b-baseball bat would d-do the trick," he figured. "Us-usually does."

"So... I'm not getting stabbed?" he asked after a while. "Kinda sad."

"I-I can stab!" Tyler said quickly. "N-no, I'll stab you if-if that's what you w-want."

"Hell yeah!" Josh cheered. "Oh, that's great."

Tyler giggled, taking his face in his hands and kissing him again, giggling when he pulled away. "W-wanna see me st-stab someone?"

"That's so sick," Josh gasped quietly. "Like- like, right now?"

"Yeah!" Tyler laughed, pulling Josh up out of the tub. "Let's- let's go right now!" 

The two stumbled up the stairs, hand in hand, and Tyler lead them to the kitchen, finding a big knife sitting on the counter in a set holder and sneaking it against his thigh.

"Now, um.. g-go up to the be-edroom, with this," he said, handing him the knife. "Go t-to the c-closet, I'll be back."

Josh nodded, running upstairs and going into the (thankfully) empty bedroom, hiding himself in the closet. Tyler soon came back, holding a guy that was grabbing his ass somewhat hard, totally drunk as well. Tyler was flirting with him quietly, pushing him back onto the bed and giggling softly.

It made Josh slightly ticked when Tyler kissed him, making him feel cold. He had just kissed him, didn't he? So why was he kissing him now? He pouted, watching Tyler's hand move to his ass, the boy under him groaning softly.

Tyler honestly thought that this dude's kisses were disgusting. Josh felt much better than whatever this guy was pulling.

He pulled himself off of the man, walking over to the closet and pulling off his shirt, feeling the guy's eyes on his back, hearing his belt buckle clink as he opened the door. He smiled at Josh, putting a finger to his lips as he grabbed the knife. Josh smiled knowingly, and Tyler felt his phone buzz in his back pocket, but he ignored it, smiling to the dude as he walked into the closet as if he was looking for something. He slipped the knife in his back pocket, coming back out as he, too, unbuckled his belt, a knowing twinkle in his eyes he kissed him again, the knife flat against his ass. 

Josh watched him anxiously, hoping the dude wouldn't look over to the closet door. He was a bit nervous for what Tyler was about to do, but it was going to be okay, he knew. At this point, it didn't seem like a joke, but maybe he was just playing around with him, to get him hyped up for nothing.

He watched Tyler whisper something to the dude, who smiled and nodded, and Tyler moved his lips down to his neck, starting to give him hickeys as his hand moved down to his crotch, making Josh bite his lip. The guy seemed very, very distracted, not even paying attention to Tyler's other hand until it was too late.

Josh covered his mouth as Tyler raised the knife, plunging it down into the man's chest. He heard the pained, stifiled gasp from the dude, and he looked away, shutting his eyes tight.

Holy shit, Tyler murders people! Seriously? This was insane!

"P-please," he heard the guy wheeze. "Please, oh my god..." 

And then nothing else, just a giggle from Tyler, and his phone buzz again. He looked over to the closet, wiping his lips with the back of his hand and then taking his other, which was bloodied, holding it up for proof to himself that he had just killed someone else.

"Goddamn it, one-oh-seven-three," a gruff voice said as it entered the room, but neither Josh or Tyler had a chance to see who it was before their bodies went numb and the world went black.


	13. twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Held hostage, Josh and Tyler fight to make their way out of their captors base. Trigger warning for descriptions of torture.

JOSH SLOWLY started to regain his conscious, groaning softly and going to stretch his arms, but he couldn't. That's what started getting confused, pulling on his hands, but he couldn't move them.

"Stop resisting," he heard a weak voice say, and he looked over, seeing Tyler looking down at the floor.

"T.. Tyler?" he asked, pain shooting through his head as he did, making him squeak out in pain. "Oh- oh my god, where are we?"

Tyler looked to him, his head basically lolling to one side. "We're in a place that I can't disclose, Josh. Do you.. do you remember what happened last night?"

"Do you?" he asked, trying to regain his memory. Everything felt wishy-washy, watery... unstable. Sloshy. 

Tyler looked so tired, so sad in that moment.

"Oh, Josh, I always remember."

Suddenly, Josh watched Tyler's face contort into pain, and he cried out, throwing his head forward. "Holy shit!" he shouted, his voice low and laced with venom. "Just leave me the fuck alone!"

There was a pause, and then Tyler sobbed, tears spilling down his cheeks and dropping off his nose, into his lap.

Josh was just about to say something when his view was blocked, a bag now over his head and fastened around his neck. He gasped, looking around the now completely black scenery in front of him. What was once a white room was now just black, just a void.

He yelled, trying to reach up and claw himself out of the bag, failing easily. Not knowing where he was scared him so, so much, and he couldn't hear anything except himself, not even Tyler's sobs. He started to hyperventilate, seeing nothing but black everywhere, only black, and his headache was getting worse.

Little did he know, Tyler knew this. Tyler knew exactly what They were doing, and he had to intervene.

"Stop!" he yelled, knowing that they could hear him anyway. "He's- he's scared of that! Please, he's gonna pass out, or something!"

"Silence, one-oh-seven-three," the monotone voice told him. "You're not in charge."

"I- I don't want him to hurt more, please!" he begged. "He's- I can't do that to him! He's already probably so stressed, I'm- I'm- I'll do anything! Just don't hurt him!"

The tears streamed down faster as he stared over at Josh, who was visibly upset. He couldn't hear him, but he was jerking around, struggling with his restraints. 

"You- you're all bastards!" he cried out. "He didn't even do anything!"

"No, he didn't," the voice answered him. "We just like seeing you suffer."

His chip burned deep into his skin, and he cried out in pain, throwing his head back. "Just- just- take me! Don't hurt him, just hurt me!" he exclaimed, his voice going hoarse.

"You know feelings don't mix with murder," the voice said. "We know how you feel."

"A- a friend!" Tyler gasped. "He's a friend, all he'll ever be, all- all I want!"

"We're in your brain, Tyler. You'll just run right to him when your contract is over," the voice told him. "Don't try to play with us."

Tyler saw Josh's body go limp, just at the same time the pain shot across his arm, but through his body, too. He sobbed, yelling out to Josh, who had just.. stopped moving. His brain was feeling hazy, and he screamed, wondering what he did to get this torture.

"Please," he whispered, sobbing again. "I'm so-sorry, we got drunk, just- just let it slide, please!"

"One-oh-seven-three, you know that the termination of Joshua is bound to happen, right?" a different voice said. "But since you seem unable to even ponder the fact, we'll take care of it for you."

"No," Tyler whispered. "No, no no no- no!"

"Any last words, one-oh-seven-three?" the voice asked, and Tyler watched as the sack was pulled off of Josh's head, his brown curls falling gracefully as his head rolled forward. Tyler sobbed, looking to him. He didn't know how to even think properly, let alone form words that were more important than his life right now. Grunting in frustration, he pulled at the rope holding his wrists together, letting out a cry of anger when he couldn't get his hands through.

"Don't even bother," the monotone voice returned at his actions. "You'll never get through."

"Never say never," Tyler muttered, looking down to his feet and pulling on the rope around his ankles. Maybe if he pulled just right...

He looked over to Josh, who was still unconscious, and he cleared his throat shakily.

"Josh," he said, twisting his ankles in the ropes they were held in. "I hope.. I hope that you don't remember any of this, and that it will never happen again."

"Of course it won't- he'll be dead!" the second voice laughed, and Tyler smiled sadly, the ropes now loose enough, and he jerked his feet forward, slipping them out.

"Wait- wait!" the monotone voice said, now expressing emotion, as Tyler pulled himself from the chair. "Somebody stop him!"

Pain shot up his arm again, but he felt too weak to even care. All that mattered was that he needed to escape with Josh, and he kept repeating it in his head as his one hand popped free.

He smiled, standing and easily untying the second one as guards in fully masked uniforms ran at him. Tyler just grabbed the foldable chair, whamming it on top of their heads, just enough to get them to pass out. After that, he looked to the back of the room, something he'd never seen before. There stood three people behind a glass window, their faces blocked off from what Tyler could only guess as facial recognition in the glass. 

"Nice, guys, messing with a murderer. Real fuckin' smooth," he hissed, throwing the chair at the window and cracking it, smiling as he ran over to Josh, who was still unconscious.

"Josh," Tyler whispered, untying his restraints. "Joshua, I'm right here. Did they get you chipped?" he asked, mostly to himself, checking his arm for any sign of the implant, sighing happily when there was none. "Let's go, before they fuck up my thought process."

Josh slumped over onto him when he got the rope untied, and Tyler huffed, holding the man up before sighing and picking him all the way up.

It's a bit hard, he thought, to run with an extra body on you, but he knew he could make it. He'd done it before, but not with an extra 160 pounds. It was possible, he knew. A training day would've been better beforehand, he hummed, as he opened the door, running out into the hallway.

"We really let this happen a third time?" the second voice asked, leaning against the counter and clearing her throat. "Sound the alarms, start infiltration after."

Tyler, not knowing what was happening, even, ran down the halls, desperately searching for the exit. All it was was white halls, almost no doors. He had to look for a red door, that being their only way to safety.

The alarm sounded, making Tyler jump and Josh open his eyes slowly.

"... Tyler?" he asked for the second time, feeling very out of it. "Why aren't we home?"

"We'll be home in a little bit," Tyler promised him, sliding into a hallway. "Just go back to sleep. It's all okay."

"Buuuuttt," Josh whined. "Wanna know what's happenin'!"

"You're like this every single time you pass out?" Tyler asked, taking a sharp left.

"I don't even know what's happening," Josh repeated, sort of. Tyler hummed, gasping when he saw the door, his arms starting to strain.

"I wanna go home, I wanna go home, I wanna go home," Josh repeated to himself softly, looking up to Tyler. "Wait, did we kiss?"

"Wow, congrats on remembering," Tyler chuckled. "Now's really not the time, but yeah."

"Oh, that's sick," Josh giggled, his curls starting to get messed up. "I remember you said you liked it, but that's everything that I can remember."

"Now isn't the time, Joshua."

"Sorry."

Meanwhile, the woman had her head hovering over her tablet. "Tell me when to go," she murmured, watching the guard nod as he watched his footage on the security cameras for a few more seconds.

Tyler reached the door, panting as he frantically typed in the passcode, suddenly feeling a hard pain in the front of his head. He groaned, letting the door open and pushing Josh out, yelling out in pain as he grabbed his head, falling to his knees. Josh stumbled onto the pavement, going back over and pulling Tyler out, who was still in pain when the door closed.

"We- we need to leave," he told Josh, his voice glitching as Josh watched his eyes fuzz over. "Please don't listen to what I say that's dif-"

Tyler closed his eyes, gasping in pain. Josh got up, stretching before picking Tyler up, still unsure of his walking. Judging by the location, he knew exactly where they were: almost home. So that's what they did- walk home as Tyler pleaded to go back in a voice that wasn't exactly his. It was scary, to say the least, and he still had no idea what was happening.

Josh carried him to his apartment complex, climbing up the stairs carefully as Tyler slowly started to lose the robotic tint in his voice and go back to himself, which was tired and in pain. His entire body felt like it was on fire, inside and out, and he just wanted sleep.

Josh hummed, unlocking the door and stumbling in with Tyler, who was clutching onto him until they got inside. Leaving him, he went back to the bedroom, kicking off his sneakers and collapsing onto Josh's bed. Josh sighed, his body hurting as he ran his finger over the bump in his neck that he didn't remember being there before. Then, he too went back to his bedroom, collapsing onto the bed, shutting his eyes and almost instantly falling asleep with Tyler at his side.


	14. thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler helps Josh as they both question feelings for each other. Trigger warning for descriptions of blood, cutting skin, sharp objects, and the use of needles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these chapter summaries are so shit im so sorry LMAO

TYLER GROANED, rolling over as he heard a phone ring. He rubbed his eyes, reaching back to his pocket to find that his phone wasn't the one ringing. He looked over to Josh, then did a double take. 

How long had they'd been asleep?

"Josh," he mumbled. "Joshua!" 

He pushed on his shoulder, sighing when he didn't wake up. He grabbed his phone out of his back pocket and answered it. "Hello?" he said, his voice hoarse at the soreness of his throat.

"Joshua, where are you?" a voice answered urgently. "Jesus, boy, just tell me if you're sick already!"

"Uh- uh, I'm not Josh," he said. "I'm his friend.. he's kinda.. passed out right now."

"Is he unable to get up?" the guy asked, sounding a bit worried.

"I dunno, I just woke up!" Tyler exclaimed. "We- we got.. we're sick."

"Sick? Okay... okay. That's all I need to know. Get better."

"Yeah, thanks," Tyler groaned. "Please just... yeah. He'll come in when he can."

"Yeah.. okay. Tell him we miss him."

Tyler chuckled. "I will. Stay safe."

The person hung up, and Tyler sighed, putting the phone back down. He still felt so tired, and sleep sounded so nice right about then, so he closed his eyes again, thinking about how he should regain his energy first. His entire body ached from carrying Josh, and from the pain that They caused, making him think back to that whole situation.

Forcing himself up, he groaned, closing his eyes and almost falling down from what felt like a lack of sleep. He walked to the kitchen, wondering if it was a smart idea to trust himself on making coffee at the moment. He opened the fridge, finding a bottle of water and sighing as he opened it, downing half of it in one go. The orange juice that he couldn't see would come later, if it was even needed. He didn't feel very hungover still, but anything was possible.

Taking the water bottle to the bathroom, he decided to take a cold shower, followed by a little bit of hot water, as a treat. Laughing at himself, he undressed, turning on the shower and looking to himself in the mirror. 

He, himself, was the single root of all his problems. He was the one to cause all the distress, all the negativity, all the trouble, and now endangering Josh. They knew he kissed him, he kissed him, which was not good at all. Drunk him was always so truthful.. so is that what he felt? Is that how Josh made him feel?

Would he risk Josh's life for another kiss? 

He tried to clear his foggy mind as he stepped into the shower, the cold water hitting his skin and waking him up a bit. Sighing quietly, he let the water drench him, rubbing at his arm where the chip was. There was always distractions to anything else, but never, never anything enough to let him forget about the chip residing in his arm. It had no real reason to be there, just a microscopic torture device as his payback for killing people.

After he had woken up, he turned on the hot water, letting it run over his body as he cleaned himself the best he knew how, scrubbing any dirt or blood off his body that hadn't left before. 

That's when he realized he wasn't even in his own house. It hit him like a ton of bricks, and he gasped, putting a hand to his mouth. Holy shit! This was Josh's apartment! Oh, he was really out of it, huh?

He finished up quickly, beating himself up for being so dumb. You really couldn't blame him, though- he didn't know he was in Josh's apartment for the first ten minutes of being awake. Somehow.

Grabbing his water, he went back to the bedroom, a towel covering his lower half. Setting the water down, he looked to Josh's closet, sighing as he opened it, feeling guilty as he grabbed a shirt that he didn't see him wear much. Without glancing back at Josh, he slid on the shirt, finding his boxers back in the bathroom before coming back and letting the towel drop, sliding into them.

"You say my ass looks fine," he heard Josh mumble, and his face went bright red. "Tyler, have you seen your ass?"

"U-um, I'm sorry," he said quickly, picking the towel back up. "I didn't know you were awake."

"No, I'm awake," Josh said, blinking once. "Y'know, whatever the heck happened last night was scary. What was that about?"

Tyler looked at him. "What... what do you remember?"

"Um... black," Josh said, then gasped, his mouth dropping as his face changed, pain laced throughout it. His hand flew to the back of his neck, to the bump. "Oh— oh my god!"

Tyler dropped the poor towel, bolting over to him and looking to where his hand was located.

Oh, good god, he thought to himself, his finger running over the bump. They got him. Of course they did, they had to. He witnessed him commit a murder, did he not? How else would he be wiped?

Josh groaned softly, his eyes closing. "What was that?" he asked, his voice quiet. "Hurt so bad, oh my god."

"Like.. like fire spreading over your body?" Tyler asked. Josh didn't deserve this. Tyler had just fucked up everything for them, he knew it! Now, Josh wouldn't want to be his friend anymore, would he? One of the only people in his life taken away, just like that.

Josh nodded, gulping. "Felt just like that." He then looked up, staring into Tyler's eyes. "How.. how did you know?"

Tyler bit his lip. "Listen, there's a lot of shit you don't know about, okay? There's shit I can't tell you, and shit you'll— you'll never understand. You need to understand me, okay? You need to just.. listen to me and.. how high is your pain tolerance?"

Josh opened his mouth, stammering. "Uh— uhm.. why?" 

"Because- I know you just woke up, but we gotta get the chip outta you."

"There's a— there's a chip in me?" Josh asked, and Tyler sighed, pushing him onto his stomach. "What are you going to do? Tyler, what is happening?!"

"Just stay here, goddamn! Stop- stop asking questions!" Tyler yelled as he ran out of the room. "This is so stressful!" 

"I-I'm sorry," Josh whispered, pushing himself up so that he was sitting up. He was filled with confusion and fear, and he just wanted Tyler to tell him what was going on! Now there was some chip in him that Tyler was going to get out of him, how? How did the chip even get there in the first place, and how could it cause him to have hot sensations shoot down his body that made him want to cry? Most importantly, what was Tyler keeping from him? He clearly knew something. Why couldn't just he tell him?

Josh sniffled, pushing down his tears of frustration. He could do better than to cry, even though that's what he desperately wanted to do. Tyler didn't need to see him like this. Hopefully, he'd tell him more after they got the chip out, or whatever the heck. 

Tyler came back into the room, immediately asking, "Are you okay with blood? C'mon, let's go to the bathroom."

Josh stammered, not knowing what to think. He clearly had no say in this, whatever this even was. Tyler dragged him up, telling him that everything was okay.

Apparently, from what he caught, the chip was tiny, no bigger than the very tip of his finger. It was lodged in the back of his neck, so there was only a very small incision needed to yank it out.

"Okay.. but why does it need to come out?" Josh asked as he was pushed into the bathtub, Tyler straddling himself on top of his back.

"It needs to come out because it can hurt you and track you, Josh. We're playing a very dangerous game here, you know that? If we don't get this out, bad shit goes down. Now, please stay still."

"Tyler— ow!" he cried, trying not to jerk out of his way. The small knife slipped into his skin, slicing evenly just below the bump. It hurt, even though it was a small slit. Then it happened again, and he cried out, holding onto the side of the bathtub as he felt the blood slowly start to trickle down his neck. Tyler murmured soft words to him, and he felt poking and prodding near the bump, the man on him tutting.

"C'mon, you fucker," he muttered, warning Josh to stay still again as he grabbed the knife again, digging it under his skin. 

Josh felt the tears start to flow down his cheeks, the pain almost unbearable at this point. It was only a few more seconds until Tyler leaned down, smiling softly.

"Got it, Joshie," he said quietly, bringing the stained knife down to his eye level. Tears and blood dripped to the bottom of the tub as Josh eyed the chip, small and blue, an oblong shape. It was blinking, not rapidly, but still, blinking, and Tyler hummed, putting it onto the bottom of the tub and cutting it in half. Josh was impressed, seeing as how little it was- no bigger than someone's expanded pupil, at the most.

"Stay right there," Tyler instructed, getting back up and looking to the bathroom. "Got any hydrogen peroxide?" he asked after a moment, and Josh pointed to the cabinet to the left, which Tyler opened it and got his needed equipment.

Coming back over, he opened the cap and told Josh to brace himself before pouring it on his wound. Josh winced at the sting, but it was nothing like before. The tears were still there, so he let them fall, feeling one run down his nose and stay on the tip for a bit. It was a couple more moments before he felt something on his neck, like a cloth, but not exactly.

"Can't get it infected," was all Tyler said, cleaning it gently before getting back up. "I'll be right back," he told him, and Josh heard him run off, leaving him in the tub, alone.

It left him with his thoughts, with his memories. What exactly did he remember? Black, like he told Tyler, and feeling scared. And a kiss? Did they kiss? He said they did.. what did that mean? Were they like.. friends with benefits now? Surely, just one drunk kiss didn't mean that everything was over now, right? He shuddered at the thought, shaking his head. He didn't like that, their friendship was over. Even if Tyler was hiding some weird wacko shit and one day told him he was a prostitute or something, he wouldn't mind. It would be okay. Tyler was the only friend he felt like he could keep, and he'd fight to keep him.

Tyler came back, sitting on his lower back again. "I'm gonna stitch it, Josh, okay?" he asked, placing an ice cube onto the area. Josh shivered, gasping softly at the sudden coldness. 

The two sat quietly like that for a bit, Tyler putting another ice cube onto the area once the first one had melted quite a bit. Josh only whimpered, closing his eyes. After that, Tyler told him to relax, then quickly stitched his skin back together, making Josh whimper and gasp at the dulled pain. Then some Neosporin was applied, followed by a bandaid, and a tissue with the chip in it, crushed even further.

"That should do it, Joshie," Tyler said softly. "I'd suggest just resting for today. Your work called, I told them we were sick. They say they miss you," he informed him, throwing away the tissue and wiping the blood off his neck. "Sounded really irritated, honestly."

"Probably," Josh groaned at the pain in his neck. "I'm sorry, Ty. I really am."

Tyler switched on the shower, letting the water clean the blood left over as he turned around to face him. "Why would you ever be sorry, Joshie?" he asked, reaching up and wiping away his tears gently.

"Because— I feel like a nuisance sometimes," he frowned. "You just dug a chip out of my neck. If that isn't friendship, I don't know what is. I'm sorry for ever even doing what I did to get the chip there because.. because..." he said, his brain working as he connected some puzzle pieces. 

"You have a chip, don't you?" he asked, barely above a whisper. "And- and that's why you were yellin' in the place we were at, right? 'Cause... they were.." 

He trailed off, looking to Tyler with a sad expression. Tyler looked to his feet, biting the inside of his cheek before reaching up and giving Josh a short kiss on his lips, leaving the room right after.

"Tyler," Josh said, but it was too late. Tyler wasn't going to listen to him now, he saw that. He sighed quietly, his lips tingling as he realized that was their first kiss, their first sober one, at least. He had just melted into it like it was normal, didn't he? That was weird.

Turning the shower off, he left the room, carefully tilting his neck so it wouldn't hurt as much as he went back to the bedroom, laying himself down in his bed and closing his eyes. Maybe everything would get better if he just woke up from this dream.

Everything would be fine. Tyler and him would still be friends, not whatever was happening right now. They would have fun and have the fun get together nights at each other's house, and he wouldn't be passing out from darkness and screaming and wouldn't be watching Tyler next to him, kissing him in bathrooms and then watching him slowly start to push him away and give him mixed messages. They'd be able to talk, to share everything, be open books, and be able to tell each other how they really felt. 

With his lips still tingling, he fell asleep, not feeling Tyler join him a few minutes later. Spooning him, he sighed softly, kissing his bandaid on his neck. 

Josh was addicting. He couldn't get enough of him, even when he was in danger. It was selfish and dumb, but one kiss wasn't and would never be enough. Tyler wanted him until the end of time, he realized, holding him closer. He would fight for him, all he could.

With one more lingering thought, he closed his eyes, soon falling asleep.

I'd risk my life for yours, Joshua.


	15. fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a streaaful day, Josh and Tyler relax. Trigger warning for forced vomiting.

"TY, WE have to get that chip out of you."

The words hung in the air as the two laid in Josh's bed later that day, the dull pain still residing in Josh's neck and Tyler's heart. Tyler agreed with Josh, almost completely, but he knew the truth.

"We can't take it out," he told him, rubbing his arm. "We can take it outta you, because you've done nothing wrong."

Josh remembered nothing of the experience that they had with Them, he had told him. He had been completely wiped. The only thing he remembered was talking about it with Tyler earlier, but barely.

"What do you mean, I've done nothing wrong?" he asked, now concerned. "Are you saying you've done something wrong?"

Tyler sighed, burying his head in the pillow. "Listen, I do a lot of bad shit. A lot. And the chip is kinda like.. my payback? It.. They use it to hurt me, I guess. I didn't read the fine print," he muttered, rubbing his temple. "It's real simple, but also super, super hard to explain. I told you, I told you, right after we drunk kissed, but.. you've been wiped. It'll be so hard to tell you again, Josh, it's such.. sensitive information. We'll be called back for sure, and it's just going to be a cycle!"

Josh frowned, rolling over and rubbing his back softly. "Ty, don't get too overworked."

"It's stressful, Joshie!" he exclaimed into the pillow, fighting the angry tears that threatened to show themselves. "It's so fucking stressful and I can't handle it!"

Sighing, Josh pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back as Tyler sobbed into his chest. He still had no idea what was happening in Tyler's life, or what he was hiding, what sensitive information and bad stuff he was doing. It scared him, honestly, and he wanted to know so bad, even if he was just going to be.. called back, whatever that meant.

"Can you tell me?" Josh said softly. "I just want to know. It'll make me feel so much better if I know."

"No," Tyler sniffled. "N-no, I can't. It'll be s-so much worse, Joshie. Y-you'll be scared of me, a-and I'll have t-t-to.."

They both were silent for a few moments.

"You'll have to do what, Ty?" 

Tyler shook his head, wiping at his eyes roughly. "Just a few more months, J-Joshie. We can pretend this never happened i-in a few months. It-it'll be over."

Josh was feeling a tad dizzy. He didn't like it when anyone kept anything from him, especially with Tyler. Especially especially when it included something that might harm him, or himself.

"I'm sorry," Tyler whispered, untangling himself from Josh's grasp and getting up, leaving the room.

"Wh— Tyler, where are you going?" Josh asked, but he didn't answer. He furrowed his brows, getting up and following him. "Tyler?"

"Can- can you just leave me alone, please?" Tyler snapped, turning around and giving Josh a hateful look before immediately softening, shaking his head as he went into the kitchen.

Josh, feeling suddenly uneasy, stepped back, his eyes dropping as he padded back to his room, his socked feet making soft, defeated thumps as he did.

Closing the door behind him, he laid down on the bed, finding his phone and plugging in his earbuds. He knew he shouldn't leave him alone, especially not now, but he didn't want Tyler to be hurt or mad at him, so he'd do what he wanted. Turning up the volume on his music seemed like the only thing worth doing at the moment.

It was so loud that he didn't hear the bathroom door close, and he totally forgot about Tyler after a while, when he should've definitely been concerned.

Tyler was coughing, the empty glass next to him as he kneeled over the toilet. Everything hurt, especially his throat, even though nothing really came out. His stomach was practically empty, but he still needed to feel horrible somehow.

It wasn't self harm if he didn't leave a mark, right? He wasn't even technically hurting himself, just giving himself what he deserved. 

He whimpered, tears rolling down his face and dropping into the mess below him. Even though he had proved to himself two times before that he had nothing left in him, he still wanted more. It hurt more to know that he couldn't do anything than to empty himself.

Just give up already, he told himself, and he felt his heart tighten as he flushed the toilet, sitting back and staring at the glass silently. The only thing he could hear was the running water and his heavy breathing, and he felt it all swirl in his brain until he could barely handle it anymore. Shoving himself up, he forced himself to clean out his mouth, and then drink some water after.

Half an hour passed from when Tyler disappeared to when he came back, climbing next to Josh and pulling out his earbud. Josh jumped, looking up to him and frowning deeply.

"Oh, Ty, what did you do?" he asked. "You look.. wrecked." 

Tyler just shook his head, putting in his earbud and closing his eyes, burying his head in the pillow. Josh took that as him just wanting to stay quiet, so he pulled out his phone and found a playlist for him, putting it on and then taking his hand.

"Ty, just talk to me if you ever want to," he murmured, linking their fingers and rubbing his hand with his thumb. "I'll be here."

Tyler mumbled something softly, nodding and then sighing. Josh didn't ask him what he said, just held his hand and watched him fall asleep before closing his eyes as well, his breathing evening out as he, too, fell asleep.

~

Tyler awoke to a sore throat and something good smelling coming from inside the apartment. He groaned softly, blinking a few times as he realized Josh wasn't with him anymore, and seemingly hadn't been for a long time, since his side of the bed was cold.

Getting up, he trudged out, smelling Josh's scent, which was now all over him. That fact made him smile softly, and Josh quickly came into sight.

"Good evening, sleepyhead," Josh said from his place in front of the stove, looking over and smiling sadly. "You feelin' okay?"

"My throat," he rasped, then widened his eyes. Josh chuckled nervously, looking back down to the stove.

"Yeah, that doesn't sound good. I have a Capri Sun in the fridge, if you'd like it.. or water, or lemonade. Just please drink something, okay? It'll help."

Tyler nodded, peaking over his shoulder on his way to the fridge. Josh noticed, and smiled. "I'm making some spaghetti... I read that for a lot of people, it's a comfort food. Thought it might help and make up for our.. stressful afternoon."

Tyler's heart melted. He loved pasta, and whatever he read was absolutely right. He'd tell him that after he got some liquid in his system, but for now, he'd just focus on what a wonderful friend Josh was. He smiled widely at him, opening the fridge and grabbing his favorite flavor of Capri Sun and opening it, sipping on it for a few moments. The drink felt refreshing, and he smiled softly, clearing his throat before speaking.

"I really don't deserve you," he mumbled, which Josh just shook his head at. "I don't! I- I do bad stuff, and you make spaghetti to make up for it? You didn't even.. do anything!"

"That's the point," Josh told him. "One, I didn't do anything to stop you from doing what you did in the bathroom. By the way, you didn't take your glass to the kitchen, and I felt really, really bad when I saw it. I'm sorry."

Tyler shook his head, taking another sip from his Capri Sun. "It isn't something you can help, Joshie. You couldn't do anything... I think you did the right thing."

"Oh," he murmured, stirring the spaghetti. "Well, two, I need you to know that I still love and care about you, even after you feel low and stuff. Learned that the hard way, I did, and I know it's not fun to have nobody to wake up to after a tough night or.. whenever. I'm willing to give you what I never got, which should just be a normalization everywhere, in my mind." He trailed off, looking to Tyler, whose shoulders were slumped as he looked up to him, suddenly hugging him tightly.

"Thank you, Josh," Tyler whispered, feeling more loved than he had in the past five years. "Thank you so much."

"Of course," Josh chuckled softly. "What else would I do? I have to be the best friend I can be."

"I love you, Josh."

"I love you too, Ty."

Tyler hummed softly, gasping as he lifted his head up. "Josh, do- do you have any nail polish?"

Josh pulled away, stirring the spaghetti before running to the bathroom, and Tyler watched the pasta until he came back, offering a few bottles to him. "My sisters left them once, never retrieved them, so.. yeah."

Tyler gasped excitedly. "Can you paint my nails after our meal?" he asked, his eyes lighting up. Josh laughed, nodding and letting him choose as many as he wanted as he went back to their food. 

Soon, it was done, and the two ate their spaghetti on the couch, watching a show that neither of them had ever seen, both of them laughing at the stupidly funny parts. It made Tyler feel a lot better, honestly, and he ended up in Josh's lap, talking softly to him as he painted his nails carefully.

"Um.. Ty?" Josh asked him as he finished up his left hand. "I.. I have a question."

Tyler looked up curiously, taking his hand and blowing on it lightly. "Yeah?" he asked between a breath.

"Um.." he started, taking a deep breath. "You're kinda confusing me, with all this.. romantic stuff. What's up with that? Are we friends, or...?"

Tyler took down his hand, laying it on his thigh. "Well, honestly? The first time was probably how I felt. Drunk me is much more truthful than I ever am, so.. I probably like you," he said smoothly. "Maybe I haven't been thinking about it too much. But the kiss earlier today? Domino affect. You're very addicting, Joshua."

Josh's cheeks went red, and he giggled softly. "Addicting? Me?"

"Yeah!" Tyler exclaimed. "You're so nice and sweet, and you seem to really like being with me, and I kinda like kissing you," he admitted, his own cheeks covered in a blush. "Maybe we could do it again sometime, I dunno."

"What, this?" Josh asked, leaning in and kissing him softly. Tyler made a sound of surprise, quickly closing his eyes and kissing back.

Yeah, this, he thought to himself, melting into it. 

Josh pulled away slowly, looking up to him and keeping their lips close. "Gotta kiss my homies so they know I love and care for 'em," he whispered, smiling before kissing him again.

Tyler pulled away, pouting. "I'm only a homie?" he asked, before kissing him again.

Josh sighed, detaching his lips from Tyler's. "What, you're saying we should become super homies?"

"Woah, Josh, super homies? I would say take me to dinner first, but you've already technically done that..." he said softly, kissing him again. Josh made a sound in the back of his throat, putting a hand on the small of his back.

Super homies. That sounded nice.


	16. fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family dinner goes horribly wrong. Trigger warning for verbal insults, homophobia, and homophobic slurs.

“𝐍𝐎, 𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄𝐑,” Josh laughed, watching Tyler bring the spoon closer to his mouth. "Tyler, don't! Put- put the spoon down. Put it down— no!"

Tyler giggled, the brownie batter already in his mouth and out nearly as fast as it went in. "Shit!" he gasped, his tongue lighting up. "You didn't tell me it was spicy!"

"I tried," Josh shrugged, pouring the rest into the tin. "Thanks for coming early, though. It was much.. nicer? No. It was.."

"Hot!" Tyler wheezed, going for the fridge.

"No, not the word I'm looking for... um.. pleasant?"

"My fucking mouth," Tyler gasped, looking for the milk.

Josh looked over. "It's not that spicy, Ty. It'll get better when they're baked."

"Not that spicy?!" Tyler shrieked. "You're insane!"

"You think sweet and spicy barbeque sauce is spicy," Josh mumbled, setting the time on the oven. "Pretty sure you're insane."

Tyler had come over to help Josh set up for a dinner with his parents, who happened to like spicy food. Josh knew Tyler was a sucker for brownies, so he was going to have him try a baked one, but certainly not the plain batter. It was funny, nonetheless.

"I'm nervous," Josh admitted as Tyler almost comically chugged milk. "My parents think I'm worthless and I just... do you wanna stay for dinner?" he asked. "You don't have to, and they're not expecting my.. a, um, guest with me."

"Super homie?" Tyler suggested, breathing heavily. "Sounded like you needed a word there."

"Is super homie a relationship status, like a friend?" he asked. "I've been thinking about it too much."

Tyler blinked, thinking it over, the end nearing of the spicy brownies on his tongue. "Yeah, I guess, but.. nevermind."

Josh looked over, cocking his head. "No, what were you gonna say?"

He sighed, looking to the floor. "Should we be more than super homies, though? Like.. actually have a name? Official, copyright, trademarked?"

"God, you're such a dork," Josh giggled. "Sure!"

Tyler's cheeks went bright red. "O-oh, really?"

"Yes, really. I won't mind."

"Won't mind? I'm— you're saying you won't mind being my b-boyfriend? Sounds like you're doing it out of pity," Tyler snorted. "I wouldn't judge, though."

"Boyfriend, huh?" Josh asked. "Are we promoted from nighttime kisses to all day kisses?"

"This has got to be the most awkward boyfriend question thing ever," Tyler groaned, covering his face. "I just choked on spicy brownie mix, you called me a dork, and now we're promoted to all day kisses?"

Josh frowned. "If you can't love me the way I am, then maybe you shouldn't be my boyfriend," he declared dramatically. Tyler gasped, waving his hands in the air.

"N-no, Joshie, no! Not like that, Joshie, it was a joke!" he exclaimed, stumbling over himself as he came over and tripping onto Josh. They both gasped, then laughed.

"We're huge dorks," Tyler mumbled, reaching up and pecking his lips. "That felt weird. I just did that, oh my god!"

Josh chuckled, ruffling his hair before pulling up his chin, kissing his lips softly. "Guess I'm coming out at dinner, too," he murmured, sighing as he moved out from Tyler. "Does chicken sound okay?"

~

Tyler grunted, pushing the couch back with Josh's help. "God, this is so heavy," he muttered, eyeing the folding table in the corner. "Why don't all apartments have space for a fuckin' table?"

"Because I don't get paid nearly enough to have a nice apartment," Josh chimed in, groaning as he pushed it against the wall. "Which is bullsh- bull, to me," he said, his cheeks heating up.

Tyler looked over to him, sliding the table over. "Oh, scared to curse now, hmm?"

Josh rolled his eyes, helping him prop it up. "It's just that it's a dirty habit that I was taught to never do, y'know? I don't swear, I don't see the need. Kinda makes me feel gross."

"Oh," Tyler giggled. "Funny. Helps me get my feelings out when my less-than-stellar vocab can't."

Josh chucked, covering the cold plastic with the tablecloth, smoothing it out. "It's... presentable."

Tyler looked up to Josh. "You should quit your job."

Josh looked to him. "What? Quit my job? Why?"

"You work every day except Sunday, and the occasional day off, you get paid barely enough, and they seem like they don't care about you," he explained. "I can help you find another job, better, but.. I think you need some change."

Josh frowned, smoothing out the tablecloth more. "Eh.. I'll see, I guess. I like my job."

"I like your job, too," Tyler admitted. "You just need to work at a different company. Sitting at a desk for nine hours straight, fifty four hours a week? Just.. drawing fucking buildings. Don't get me wrong, but what you're getting paid isn't enough."

"Yeah, good talk," Josh sighed, going to get chairs. Tyler opened his mouth to interject, but just shut it, about to go back into the kitchen when there was a knocking at the door.

"Oh, shoot, get that, please!" Josh called from his closet. Tyler nodded, running back to the door and opening it.

"Good evening," he said smoothly to the two people, who he guessed to be his parents, since they both looked like Josh slightly. They looked surprised at him, but quickly got over it.

"Hello," the woman said. "Do I.. know you?"

"You don't!" Josh said, coming into their line of sight. "Lucky for you, your son can make friends."

"I came to help him set up," Tyler smiled. "C'mon in!" 

He stepped aside, and Josh clumsily presented the table, chuckling a bit. "Sorry, the chicken's almost ready."

"Well, you should've put it in earlier," his dad suggested, sitting down on the couch. Tyler eyed him and bit his lip, just standing politely. 

"You guys are kinda early.." Josh pointed out, his spirits already downed. Tyler could tell, and he felt bad.

"Don't talk back to your father, Joshua!"

"S-sorry, Momma."

There was a quiet pause, and then his mom looked to Tyler suspiciously. Tyler smiled, coming closer and holding out his hand.

"Hi, I'm Tyler," he said, making sure to sound friendly. His mom winced at his hand, not touching him.

"Is.. Tyler staying?" she asked, and just the tone in her voice made him concerned. He didn't know what he wanted to expect, or what he did expect, but it wasn't this.

Josh looked to Tyler, who had taken away his hand. "He doesn't have to, but.. if you don't mind.."

"I do mind," his mom retorted. "Boys with painted nails don't usually sit right with me."

Tyler's chest felt like it sunk, and he let a frown flicker onto his face as he pulled back his hand and held it with the other. He liked his painted nails, a lot! So did Josh, he thought, so why was his mom judgemental? The chest feeling turned into a gut feeling, turning and twisting with soon-to-come rage.

"Momma, that isn't nice," Josh pouted, going into the kitchen. "He's my plus one, but I'm sure he'll leave if you want him to."

"You don't tell me what I do is nice or not," she snapped, and Tyler's brows furrowed, adding to the dangerous amount of emotions building in his stomach. This wasn't his thing to get into, but something was off, desperately off, in this situation. 

"And, and, you should've told us that you'd have a.. guest beforehand, so that we knew and could prepare," his mother continued. "Maybe get a real table next time, too."

Josh stayed silent, just shuffling in the kitchen.

"Speak when you're spoken to, Joshua," his father said, and Tyler almost scowled.

"I'm sorry," Josh said, in a tone that would better fit whispering than being spoken loudly.

But Josh didn't whisper. He knew what happened when he whispered to his parents, and he didn't like that, or want Tyler to see that.

"Should.. should I stay?" Tyler asked, trying to put on a nice face. "Because I.. I'll gladly leave, but I kinda wanna stay for Josh."

Josh looked up, cocking his head, but it wasn't like either of his parents could see that. All their attention was focused on Tyler at the moment.

"What do you mean by that?" his mother asked, almost sounding disgusted. 

"Um.. you seem kinda like you don't exactly.. care about your son?" Tyler told them, putting on an act that made him seem hesitant. "Seems like you're more.. judgmental, maybe? And all you do is point out his faults, I think. I think that's what I mean."

His mother looked at him, the anger clear in her eyes. Josh stood, frozen. No one had ever stood up to his mom like that, and frankly, he didn't want to see the outcome.

"What a rude boy," his mom laughed, cold and distant, not like a mother's laugh should be. "Joshua, all you can do is be a disappointment and make horrible friends, I see. Nothing's changed, huh?"

"Not- not rude, ma'am," Tyler strained. "Just.. pointing out your behavior, which you can't seem to handle."

"The only friend I liked was that Debby girl," she told them, ignoring Tyler completely. "Why'd you have to leave her?"

Josh's heart was pounding at this situation, even though he was used to this conversation, all these types of conversations, time and time again. He was just scared of how she would act to Tyler, which was who needed to be brought up. Might as well be disowned, right? Just one less problem.

"'Cause, Momma," he said, sighing. "I didn't like her anymore."

"I liked her, that's what mattered," she muttered. "The best thing about you is that you have a great taste in women."

"And men," he mumbled.

Josh's father looked over. "What was that?"

Josh knew he had made a mistake when his father was.. interested in whatever he had just uttered.

"Men," he said, a bit louder. "I like my taste in men."

"Men?" his mother asked, shocked. "What do you mean, men?"

"Oh, so you're a faggot?" his father asked.

Tyler felt his insides shatter at the word his father said. Josh felt the same feeling, just more extreme, with glass scraping his insides, a deep blue, almost purple-y black color.

"I can't believe you would do this to us, Joshua," his mother said. "Just.. oh, that's disgusting, Joshua!"

Tyler wanted so badly to say something, anything, any of the words and sentences floating into his mind, but he stayed silent, just looking into the kitchen to see Josh.

"I've raised a fag," his father muttered, in shock himself as he got up. "I'm sure not eating with one."

"Two," Tyler blurted out. "Okay? You're not eating with two. Please be nicer, and please leave."

"What— Tyler?!" Josh whispered-exclaimed, looking to him. 

"Don't tell us what to do," his mother spat. "Just as disgusting as Josh, huh?"

"Yeah," Tyler agreed. "I'll drink to that. Being disgusting is better than being hateful to something out of someone's control, but we're not ready for that conversation."

Josh watched his father open the door and leave. His mother put her head in her hands, muttering out whatever was on her mind into her palms.

"Listen, Momma—"

"Laura."

Tyler drew in a breath. Oh god, what did he do?

"Listen, Laura," Josh sighed. "I've changed, okay? If you're not gonna be my mother, don't think I won't boss you around. My apartment, my rules. Please leave."

His mom, er, Laura, looked up, anger written all over her face.

"All you were was a useless disappointment, anyways," she snarled. "Be more like your siblings, and go back to women before you think about coming back to us."

The two watched in silence as Laura stormed out, and Josh sighed softly, suddenly feeling drained at the realization of what just happened.

"Tyler," he whispered. "Ty, please."

His boyfriend came over immediately, hugging him deeply and feeling him start to sob silently.

"God, what h-have I done?" he asked, feeling tears run down his cheeks and drip down to his neck.

"Josh," Tyler said softly, pulling away and wiping his tears off his right cheek. "Have they treated you like that your entire life?"

Josh, not wanting to admit the truth, hesitated, before fighting his gut feeling and reluctantly nodding his head.

"Your whole life?" 

Another nod, a painful sob.

"Oh, Joshie," Tyler murmured, pulling him close again, hearing the oven beep. "Can I get the chicken out? You can go to the bedroom, and we can eat it when it cools, okay? For now, you need some love."

Josh nodded silently, sniffling and hugging him tighter before they both pulled away, going in different directions than the other.

Good riddance, Tyler thought as he pulled out the chicken, turning the oven off. They sounded like absolute assholes to him. Josh didn't deserve them.

He met Josh in the bedroom, where he immediately laid down next to him, kissing the back of his neck, where a scar lay, and spooning him. 

"Why.. why can't they see my success?" Josh asked after a few minutes. "I graduated college, I have a good job at a.. bad company, I guess. Only thing that my siblings have is a husband, a published book, and another college degree, collectively."

"Exactly, Joshie," Tyler mumbled. "They don't care to see your success. I think it's okay if they leave you on the curb like that. I mean, look at where you are now. Hopefully we can get you a better job for your degree and you can get a table. Maybe a table will make them happy."

Josh snorted. "Instagram it for everyone to see."

"Update— Joshua's got a table!"

Josh giggled weakly, pulling himself from Tyler's grasp and turning to face him. "Man, you really have a way of making me feel better sometimes."

Tyler smiled. "Really? That's so nice to know."

"It really is, huh?" he asked quietly, looking at Tyler for a bit. 

"Are we really like.. boyfriends?" he suddenly blurted out. "Like, for real?"

"Uh.." Tyler responded, a blush coming to his cheeks. "S-sure, yeah! I think so.."

"Then that's probably why I have such great taste in men."

"God, you flatter me," Tyler groaned. "Let's go eat some celebratory chicken and spicy brownies."

And they did, happily, without Josh's parents. Sucks for them, huh? They're missing out. Joshua's chicken was killer.

Out of all the things Tyler regretted, telling his boyfriend's parents to leave was not on that list. Nowhere close. He hoped that it would bring change, happy change.

Hopefully.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading, ily!


End file.
